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When Souls Dance
Contributed by
greenbird
on
Friday, 16th February 2007 @ 06:13:55 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
The moon rises upon on the land,
while we rest our hearts, our minds, our emotions.
All is still and restful here and now, so it would seem.
But our souls do not rest, they do not sleep.
Our souls feed only upon each other's presence,
therefore never stop.
Our souls dance on, without intermission.
The song of love rings far.
Strings sing as the piano stands up against midnight.
The the melody rises and falls just as the tide of the ocean.
Blissful tension builds and builds in the dance, in the music, in the air.
It peaks and is then casts off into the sky.
The music slowly, but certainly fades. It is powerful yet soft.
Finally, the last chord falls
and all is faint and blends into the sound of a single morning bird.
The music is no more but the harmony lives on in our souls and hearts.
The sun rises and offers its rays of warmth and light to our faces.
With the key of the song still ringing in our ears, we stir.
We rise and breath in the morning. And we dance upon a new day...
Copyright ©
greenbird
... [
2007-02-16 18:13:55]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: When Souls Dance
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Friday, 16th February 2007 @ 06:52:00 PM AEST
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A very beautifull, pleasent write.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: When Souls Dance
(User Rating: 1 )
by kye on
Saturday, 17th February 2007 @ 06:22:22 PM AEST
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The title of your poem- I thought was gorgeous!
The poem was soothing and romantic. I truly loved the way you let musical thoughts slowly lead the reader with strings, and chords casting off into the sky.
Their are magical pictures in your poetry.
Beautiful.
Kye |
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Re: When Souls Dance
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterat_Zool on
Monday, 19th March 2007 @ 11:49:12 AM AEST
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Pleasant and lighthearted, as poetry should be. It's far too easy to write sad or sentimental poetry, so I always appreciate something that is neither, especially when it is so well-written. My only critique, and it is a minor one, is that this reads more like a draft than a finished piece because there are a lot of unnecessary words. If you went through this poem and pulled out every word you possibly could remove without changing what you're saying, then it would be even stronger and all the more enjoyable to read.
BZ. |
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Re: When Souls Dance
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 29th April 2007 @ 12:46:44 AM AEST
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a Message)
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it is a beautiful piece, i do however agree with butter,
love n' hugs nessa |
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