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Battle Angel
Contributed by
Immortal-Dragon21
on
Thursday, 15th February 2007 @ 03:50:07 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Here, we have reached the remotest region of the earth
A wilderness without footprint
Remember what command the Father laid on you.
Here is the sinner: nail him to the rock; secure him on this towering summit
Fast in the vice-like grip of adamantine chains
It was your treasure that he stole, the flowery splendor of all-fashioning fire,
And gave to men an offence intolerable for which he now must suffer,
Till he be taught to accept sovereignty, for you sinner you will never be released
But how can I find heart to lay hands on a god of my own race and cruelly clamp him to this bitter, bleak ravine?
What is the use of wasting time in pitying him? Why do you not hate a god who is an enemy to all the gods who gave away to humankind your privilege?
The ties of birth and comradeship are strangely strong.
True, yet how is it possible to disobey the Father’s word?
Is not that something you dread more?
It does no good to break your heart for him.
Come now, you cannot help him: waste no time in worrying.
Be quick & put the fetters on him before the Father sees you idling there!
None but he could fairly find fault with my work Now drive the stakes through his wrists,
There! Now you see a sight to pain your eyes
Alas! I weep for your sufferings still shrinking? Weeping for the enemy of god?
Take care; or you may need your pity for yourself Lest the fallen one take hold in the darker regions of your conscious Where no man will dare step foot upon it’s barren & desolate soil
Beware son of the light if he should infest your life you would become the same as he
Fallen, empty & an exile never again to return to your holy place of sanctuary
Copyright ©
Immortal-Dragon21
... [
2007-02-15 03:50:07]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Battle Angel
(User Rating: 1 )
by Immortal-Dragon21 on
Thursday, 15th February 2007 @ 03:52:18 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| i am aware this is kind of long but i didnt want to put it in the short story collums as i believe short stories span more than one page |
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Re: Battle Angel
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Thursday, 15th February 2007 @ 03:56:16 AM AEST
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a Message)
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hmmm very interesting write.
can't wait to read more . :) |
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Re: Battle Angel
(User Rating: 1 )
by feralpen on
Thursday, 15th February 2007 @ 06:04:27 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| This has the flavor and language of the beginning of a great epic. I'd like to see you expand this into a tale with greater character developement. |
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Re: Battle Angel
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Thursday, 15th February 2007 @ 01:07:54 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I like this as it takes the legend of the Greek myth of Prometheus and brings it to life with Judeo-Christian elements. Actually I agree and cannot get enough of this piece so consider it as an opening to a great epic that begs for time with your pen.
Well Done
Peace
Yangdantien
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