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Millenium
Contributed by
keilantra
on
Saturday, 10th February 2007 @ 01:51:55 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
________________________
They tell me I adore you in desperation, that emotions are superfluous,
lusty, unreasonable,
but what do they know about such a passion?
Is it abnormal
that I see your face shaped in the clouds of a blizzard
when you are not here?
To see you is like
A long breath after you’ve
been underwater for too long.
In the proximity of an autumn night
Is it so wrong for our hands to hold?
In your pulse is the throbbing of a romance
That traces back m i l l e n n i u m s.
I see our names tattooed in gold
On the hands of Venus.
We are written in the books of gods,
Our reflection shown in the
fountain of Youth.
I’d rather stop breathing
than be without the sweetness of your breath.
Rather dance with you in the darkness
than anyone else by light.
Rather bear the consequence of our sins
than be denied their satisfaction.
I tell them - rather God forsake me
than I you let you go.
They threaten me with eternal condemnation but it’s meaningless.
I’ve got my own Messiah, crucified and sanctified, saving my soul.
((and he's not even a Jew))
Copyright ©
keilantra
... [
2007-02-10 13:51:55]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Millenium
(User Rating: 1 )
by Xbxg32000 on
Saturday, 10th February 2007 @ 02:04:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I enjoyed reading this, it's nicely written. You have a unique perspective that you've conveyed in excellent form within this poem!
I have a question though, the last line:
than I you let you go.
Should it be "than I let you go" or something else? Because it doesn't seem right to me.
Once again, great job! |
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Re: Millenium
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 10th February 2007 @ 08:31:42 PM AEST
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wow .. kei .. this was ... ..... just brilliant!
Your depth and presentation and word choices always
raise an eyebrow in admiration and wonder, but it is your
audacious disposition and strong conviction that has earned
my applause here.. you have expressed a "devil-may-care"
attitude with terrific aplomb and I find that terribly meritorious !!
a flawless execution of ideas, coupled with exemplary
skill here, dear kei. A treasured delight, to be sure.
you go girl
~Breezy |
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Re: Millenium
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Saturday, 10th February 2007 @ 09:54:17 PM AEST
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Wow crossing many boundaries in your 'Millennium' I too had felt something similar once the right woman in my arms and it was timeless, lives spilled around us in cascades between two wall mirrors.
This was grand and I think of this as Juliet's poem before the Lark as The Bard reminisces of his timelessness.
Bravo
Peace
Yangdantien |
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Re: Millenium
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Monday, 12th February 2007 @ 03:58:46 AM AEST
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Holy heck girl you sure know how to leave your reader in awe. A big round of *applause* dearest Kei~ A brilliant masterpiece hun. Absolutely *brilliant*
I hope to one day write to your standards my dear friend. You are an extraordinary poetess. May your pen always flow so eloquently with such remarkable masterpieces~
much love n hugs,
sue m |
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Re: Millenium
(User Rating: 1 )
by unleashed on
Tuesday, 13th February 2007 @ 02:34:32 PM AEST
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hey! (its amanda, i got a new account)
youre such a good poet !!!!!!!!!!!
everything you write is amazingly better than anything i could even think about. your good poet-ness is going to make my head explode!!!! |
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Re: Millenium
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Tuesday, 13th February 2007 @ 03:01:31 PM AEST
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Wow, what flowing of beautiful words.....Well arranged write. I loved the whole.
Brew~ |
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