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Thinking .........................
Contributed by
Malcolmsdreamgirl
on
Saturday, 10th February 2007 @ 11:29:55 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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I've read so many poems that are posted on this site
some are full of pain and grief, some are fun and light.
Some of broken hearts and all the aches that never end
Of departed ones or lovers, or a long lost caring friend
At times my heart is touched so, bringing tear to eye.
Some making me take deep breaths resulting in deep sigh
Others make me giggle. or at least they raise a smile
Some just take for ever, others just a little while.
Some make me think of life deeply, and how we take for granted
some leave me with just questioning. where the seed has now been planted.
Some make me open up my eyes, so wide that I can see
How many suffering people, and how we can let this be?
Some from walks of life, where there only will be pain.
Some learning from experience some strength that they will gain.
Some will one day laugh again and look back on the past
Others will remain there, their solitude will forever last.
I like to think I'm a lucky one, but also that I care
I try to help all others out, it only seems it's fair
Sometimes I wish a magic wand could make it all be well
But sometimes we need pain and grief so goodtimes we can tell
As long as we ALL remember like the Bibles say
Do Unto Others .... with this in mind I pray
To give is oh so simple, be it a listening ear
A hug, a kiss, a word of thanks, a warming friendly cheer.
What goes around doth come around, I so believe in this.
remember this at all times, don't easily dismiss
Think of others carefully one day it could be you
And always do to others as you would wish they do for you
Copyright ©
Malcolmsdreamgirl
... [
2007-02-10 11:29:55]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Thinking .........................
(User Rating: 1 )
by MickeyPigKnuckles on
Saturday, 10th February 2007 @ 11:37:13 AM AEST
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Malcolmsdreamgirl, I really like this poem as the journey you have taken this reader on is like a dedication to not only all poets but life as well. I hope you know that your awesome talent is glowing ever so brightly and I truly admire that within you as a fellow poet. As I prepare to close this comment I want to leave you with a small request. I may ask that you may never think of or even consider putting your poetic pen down as you would be dearly missed leaving your readers with a sad frown. Wonderful Poem.
Mickey Pig Knuckles
 [imageshack.us] |
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Re: Thinking .........................
(User Rating: 1 )
by Xbxg32000 on
Saturday, 10th February 2007 @ 02:15:28 PM AEST
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I've enjoyed reading this poem, it speaks for a lot of feelings and emotions that we come across in life. It's a unique poem with a unique touch to it, although I do personally wish it had a more positive touch near the end.
I have a question though, in this line:
"Think of others carefully one day it could be you"
Shouldn't it be like this?
"Think of others carefully, as one day it could be you"
With the comma added and the word "as", it makes it structurally better I believe.
You can also add a comma in the last line:
"And always do to others as you would wish they do for you"
to
"And always do to others, as you would wish they do for you"
Not complaining! Just trying to help :]. Once again, great poem, keep it up! |
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Re: Thinking .........................
(User Rating: 1 )
by Xbxg32000 on
Saturday, 10th February 2007 @ 02:17:50 PM AEST
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Sorry, one last thing I forgot in the last comment. Where it says:
"And always do to others as you would wish they do for you"
I suggested adding the comma, but I also think you should change the word "to" to "onto", to make it more clear and balanced, so the sentence should then be:
"And always do onto others, as you would wish they do for you"
Once again, great poem! Please keep it up :]. |
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Re: Thinking .........................
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Monday, 12th February 2007 @ 01:42:03 PM AEST
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this is a very excellent piece of poetry.. it explains through your eyes what you see of what all the people here write.. well said and expressed.. awesome job
vampyress Jenni |
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Re: Thinking .........................
(User Rating: 1 )
by LouisaMontagu on
Friday, 16th February 2007 @ 05:31:20 AM AEST
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| i love this one sweety -x- |
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