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Through These Eyes
Contributed by
PlatinumP
on
Thursday, 8th February 2007 @ 03:14:36 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
Through These Eyes I've seen the world, in all its pain and glory
If you looked inside these troubled eyes, you'd see a vain story
I'm not even supposed to be here now, a mistake since conception
Its not my fault that my parents had sex, at least thats my perception
Life's been a struggle each day that I've been here, times are hard
Found out the other day I might die soon, but hey, life goes on
Can't really dwell on the past as I see the future, hoping that its good
Enough time to be a good husband and dad, at least that I should
Would anyone really care if they didn't see me tomorrow? I'd be invisible
Up until the other day if you would have asked, I would have been invincible
So many people in my life have come and gone, my life like an open door
Bet you would have never thought you'd ask god, whys he not with me anymore?
There were times when I felt alone in this world, nobody really cared
They never knew what I was feeling inside, thats because I never shared
Nobody ever knew how bad I wanted my mother, I acted like it was nothing
If they would have ever tried to take the time they'd see, I wanted her to love me
My dad was in my life through most that I was living, we never really talked
Daily the occasional conversations were shared, but never our thoughts
Lately things have gotten better though, my mom even called today
My dad and I talk more than we used to, even think about what we say
Positive things have been happening now, I only hope I'll have my life
I've gotten closer to more people than expected, soon I'll even have a wife
So I cant let the past get me down, because if tomorrow I will see
Through These Eyes I've seen the world, and it's staring back at me
Copyright ©
PlatinumP
... [
2007-02-08 15:14:36]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Through These Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Thursday, 8th February 2007 @ 03:34:28 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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this is such a sad write.. its very expressive.. well worded too.. there is always hope.. hope things get better for you .. everything happens for a reason
vampyress Jenni |
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Re: Through These Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by MickeyPigKnuckles on
Thursday, 8th February 2007 @ 04:30:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
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PlatinumP, Ouch, what a stinger of a self glimpsing poem as the emotions pour from this piece. Did I read someplace within the composure this line, " They never knew what I was feeling inside, thats because I never shared." Man, you talk about sharing and I am so glad as I am certain many others are glad you have shared as well. I commend you for a job well done as this particular poem was screaming to your readers and for sure got my attention. As I now part I have a single request for you from all of us. I ask that you never consider placing your poetic pen down as you would be missed leaving your fans to bear a sad frown. Great poem.
Mickey Pig Knuckles
 [imageshack.us] |
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Re: Through These Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by glue on
Thursday, 8th February 2007 @ 05:53:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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your poem actually hit me.
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Re: Through These Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Friday, 9th February 2007 @ 12:22:40 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Not bad, but a poetic format with shorter lines would be appreciable. Not only does it give the lines a natural flow for the reader, but it makes for a far less forbidding sight than the massive brick-like block of text.
Keep it up.
Andrew |
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Re: Through These Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by PlatinumP on
Friday, 9th February 2007 @ 08:29:32 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| it flows quite nicely if you read it right |
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