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Cold and Dead
Contributed by
brave_celt
on
Thursday, 8th February 2007 @ 06:56:48 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
If you and I can't lie down and sleep togeather
Then I think I'd rather just lie down and sleep forever
Then I could dream of you and I walking hand in hand
In a field of flowers or in the oceans sand
All I know now is mysery since you left me here
Now I hide my sorrow with fake smiles and beer
I've come to know sorrow as my last and only friend
And still It's a mystery why our love had to end
Nomatter what your reason, our love is cold and dead
while I lie here dying with a big hole in my head
Copyright ©
brave_celt
... [
2007-02-08 06:56:48]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Cold and Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by darkangeleyes57 on
Thursday, 8th February 2007 @ 07:02:53 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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This was amazing. I loved the last two lines. I am sorry that you have to go through this especially not knowing what even caused this relationship of yours to end. Keep your chin up and your head held high. I am a pm away if you ever need to talk..
Take care
Christina-xo |
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Re: Cold and Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by weeme on
Thursday, 8th February 2007 @ 07:03:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
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hey
i like what u done here and i feel that it is a
very powerful poem. well done i like it
xxx |
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Re: Cold and Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by outlaw_mutiny on
Thursday, 8th February 2007 @ 07:05:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is an outstanding poem! the meter in your rhymes is almost perfect, and you put a twist at the end. i feel you here dude awsome write |
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Re: Cold and Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by devils_denial on
Thursday, 8th February 2007 @ 07:57:57 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This was a great poem, thanks for sharing this us, I like your rhyming style .
I like these two lines
'Then I could dream of you and I walking hand in hand
In a field of flowers or in the oceans sand'
I'll be reading a lot more of your poems.
Take care
Jay x
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Re: Cold and Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Friday, 9th February 2007 @ 12:25:31 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Hmm, I like the simplicity of the wording, and the natural rhythm this piece has. It works well.
Andrew |
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