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Waterfall (Haiku)
Contributed by
ramfire
on
Wednesday, 7th February 2007 @ 03:17:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
Haiku
|
Four step waterfall
Cascades down short verdant drops
Foliage receives spray
Copyright ©
ramfire
... [
2007-02-07 15:17:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Waterfall (Haiku)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Wednesday, 7th February 2007 @ 03:38:53 PM AEST
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a Message)
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These are nice haiku and all, but they're missing the figurative images that make a haiku a haiku. Traditional haiku use nature images to figuratively express something larger, like the changing of a season. Also, juxtaposition is a large part of haiku: while two of the lines should more or less agree and run together, the third is separated both by a semicolon (usually), and by saying something which, at first, seems unrelated, but ties in in some way which allows for more depth than is possible with simple all-agreeing and coherent descriptives.
Keep it up, though.
Andrew |
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Re: Waterfall (Haiku)
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Monday, 23rd April 2007 @ 04:35:55 AM AEST
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Very lovely haiku. Beautiful images.
Peace, Laura |
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