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Key To My Own Heart
Contributed by
jada
on
Sunday, 4th February 2007 @ 10:19:01 PM in AEST
Topic:
SecretLove
|
Left here standing with the key to my own heart.
Driving myself crazy over you.
The last time i felt this way, things didnt turn out the way i planned.
I wanted to be the one to force me into your head.
To understand the looks on your face, to understand why it has to be this way.
That deep sense of pleasure i get form seeing your smile .
Your face that makes me get weak at the knees and turns my skin into a deep shade of red.
Yet im left standing here with the key to my own heart......?
Copyright ©
jada
... [
2007-02-04 22:19:01]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Key To My Own Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by True on
Monday, 5th February 2007 @ 01:13:29 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| This poem was nice. I would suggest spacing it out further to get a rhythm going. It doesn't haveto rhyme but a certain flow adds to the beauty of the message. |
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Re: Key To My Own Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Monday, 5th February 2007 @ 04:07:15 AM AEST
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a Message)
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True words, True (heheh).
I would advise trying to look at this from a different perspective. It's not bad, but it echoes so many other poems of the sort, because it goes about things in the same way. Try for an unique perspective on what you face, and you may surprise yourself. The key's not to meet some mark of normalcy, but to be pleasantly surprised. Keep it up.
Andrew |
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