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One Night
Contributed by
Ruby2sdy
on
Thursday, 1st February 2007 @ 03:50:31 AM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
Anguished and tortured, I watch you beside me,
Breathing, as the bedclothes mould to your back,
The rhythm doesn’t even offer comfort, a stranger in my bed,
In my body, in my life.
To me you’re nameless, faceless, a means to release,
Just another one night stand.
The guilt will hit me at the same time as the dawn,
When the shadows begin to shift and change, darkness cast away,
When you, remain.
When you realise I have nothing more to offer you,
Wouldn’t give it, even if I did.
The rock in the bottom of my stomach shifts,
Only a few hours of night left,
Whilst the moon is still in the sky,
I lean in to you close,
Breathing in the scent of sweat, and aftershave, and sex.
And I will pretend, only for tonight, that I love you.
Copyright ©
Ruby2sdy
... [
2007-02-01 03:50:31]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: One Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Thursday, 1st February 2007 @ 09:53:00 AM AEST
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a very strong and powerful write.. I like how you put raw emotion into this.. great job
vampyress Jenni |
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Re: One Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by Puppy_dog_eyes on
Thursday, 1st February 2007 @ 02:05:22 PM AEST
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I think you certainly have captured the rawness and heat of lust in this piece.
Well done
Steve |
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Re: One Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Thursday, 1st February 2007 @ 03:18:13 PM AEST
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Oh god this was raw. I can remember feeling like this years ago, when my life was much different then it is today. I got so good I could close my eyes and put a different face on someone. *shivers at the thought* I am glad I am in a loving, mutally giving relationship now, and I can really let my inner self be free.
Thanks for sharing such a bold piece.
Peace and hugs,
Laura |
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Re: One Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by heatherslostdreams on
Thursday, 1st February 2007 @ 11:23:36 PM AEST
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I like this poem it shows the uglier side of things and what happens for real..me personally have never been in this situation but when i read this i know that that is not something that i want to go through. this was really good.
yours truely ,
heather |
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Re: One Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 1st March 2007 @ 08:30:11 AM AEST
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I like this poem,its honesty and the way it is written.Yet,it is,ultimately,such a very sad piece,
Den |
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Re: One Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by ZiggyB on
Tuesday, 8th April 2008 @ 07:47:32 AM AEST
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| Pretty neat poem. Definitely raw. I love the line: "The guilt will hit me at the same time as dawn." This line itself illustrates the power of emotion, but not until after-the-fact. Fantastic write. |
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