|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Freestyle writing
Contributed by
nirvana12
on
Sunday, 28th January 2007 @ 06:46:59 PM in AEST
Topic:
fantasy
|
sometimes i think i'm too shy, sometimes it is a shame. Other days I talk to much, I guess it's not the same.
One day I met a girl and love flowed through my heart. I thought she felt the same way since then we've been apart.
I still feel this way towards her although she may not know, I wish that I could tell her so that my love could flow.
Well, she is with another, I don't blame her for this but I think I could love her more, and give her a better kiss.
I guess that this won't happen, this fantasy of mine, I feel bad for thinking this way, like a commited crime.
I wish my love would would go, just fade away, but without love my life is just one boring day.
I know we all have problems, most greater than mine, but I guess I'm just selfish, because with mine I fill the time.
Copyright ©
nirvana12
... [
2007-01-28 18:46:59]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Freestyle writing
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rhei76 on
Monday, 19th February 2007 @ 05:06:19 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| A strong sense you have of your self. one day you will have love. you will be just fine. |
|
|
Re: Freestyle writing
(User Rating: 1 )
by Chussey on
Sunday, 1st November 2009 @ 05:04:28 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I actually found this to be pretty cool, very insightful and a good message.
One thing I'd change is make it flow a little better because some parts don't go together as well.
Also, consider arranging the poem in a more interesting way. (Ex. Make it have shorter lines, use spaces)
Anyways, good job, with some editing this could be pretty decent |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
