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TAKE ME HOME
Contributed by
BOZEEN
on
Sunday, 28th January 2007 @ 02:15:47 PM in AEST
Topic:
spiritual
|
Take me to a place,where my heart will not hurt
take me to a place,where I may rest,
take me to a place, that no one can else can see
take me my love into your heart,
show me a place where I can be at peace,
and know that you will alway's cover me.
Copyright ©
BOZEEN
... [
2007-01-28 14:15:47]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: TAKE ME HOME
(User Rating: 1 )
by silverscent on
Sunday, 28th January 2007 @ 02:18:27 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Very sweet write. I think the repetition works well, and the length is just right for the subject and message of this poem.
I will say though, if you don't mind, the fourth line could do with a couple of commas to aid the flow and delivery of the line...maybe something like "take me, my love, into your heart."
Great poem, keep it up. |
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Re: TAKE ME HOME
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Sunday, 28th January 2007 @ 05:07:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I really think this is an inspiring hopeful piece.. its short but a very expressive write.. great job
vampyress Jenni |
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Re: TAKE ME HOME
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Sunday, 28th January 2007 @ 11:31:07 PM AEST
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This comes to me as prayer said, rather, sung aloud from the rooftop over looking a city at night. Tight and heartfelt.
Peace
Yang |
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Re: TAKE ME HOME
(User Rating: 1 )
by joe-joe on
Wednesday, 31st January 2007 @ 09:36:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I like the place this write took my heart...nice write... |
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