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Lose Control And Feel It.
Contributed by
bleedthelove
on
Saturday, 27th January 2007 @ 07:36:31 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
i see the pain
I drip from your eyes
the sun in my face
forced my grin
love it
that face
break my heart
my smile
tear my skin
expose me
lose control and feel it
i alone
cry beside her
pushed away
once too often
can't you see
believe
be the one who sees
realize that i'm your savior
taste my words
scar my love
feel my heart stop beating...
and spare my sorrow
god help me...
I'm so in love with her.
Copyright ©
bleedthelove
... [
2007-01-27 19:36:31]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Lose Control And Feel It.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nitrosys on
Saturday, 27th January 2007 @ 07:38:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| A bit hard to understand but overall it's an ok poetry |
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Re: Lose Control And Feel It.
(User Rating: 1 )
by BornReckless on
Saturday, 27th January 2007 @ 08:20:21 PM AEST
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a Message)
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There is alot of depth to this poem. There is a realness to the way you write, not alot of people have that talent and I commend you for that. Good poets write through their soul, you are a good poet.
peace
JJ |
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Re: Lose Control And Feel It.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Naughtygurl on
Saturday, 27th January 2007 @ 09:11:36 PM AEST
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a Message)
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You have a wonderful use of vocabulary its just a lil choppy, which can be kool but it depends on how you put the words together to make things flow. Good write
--> Bitty ♥ |
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Re: Lose Control And Feel It.
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Saturday, 27th January 2007 @ 09:26:31 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Unlike some, I rather like how choppy this is. It's almost like you're interrupting yourself.
You could do with some capitals, but otherwise, good write,
*hugs*
Phil xxx |
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Re: Lose Control And Feel It.
(User Rating: 1 )
by SaintzAndSinnerz on
Saturday, 27th January 2007 @ 10:20:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I think your a truly inspirational writer. Theres a magic to your words thats really beautiful. |
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Re: Lose Control And Feel It.
(User Rating: 1 )
by UrMyInspiration on
Sunday, 28th January 2007 @ 03:35:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| You are beautiful. |
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