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Wartorn Smile
Contributed by
skyhawk432
on
Friday, 26th January 2007 @ 04:20:56 PM in AEST
Topic:
happypoetry
|
The excess of gunfire and bullets
can only tickle my pin from its shaft;
releasing my glorious grenade;
leaving me to wait conditionally
for it to burst forth joy
in these trenches of wonder.
These piercing soundwaves of explosives,
with the sizzling scent of skin,
make me whole like a PoW with
his "good" friends.
I feel all tension slip away from me
like the injured on painkillers,
when the ripping and shredding of bodies
to the storms of metal casings
open me wider than a medic treating
an amputee.
But, nothing could be as elevating
as a mushroom cloud; slowly rising
while nearby towns and cities begin
to fly graciously, without tremble,
in the beautiful orange sky.
Copyright ©
skyhawk432
... [
2007-01-26 16:20:56]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Wartorn Smile
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Friday, 26th January 2007 @ 04:25:05 PM AEST
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Interesting, interesting. Your imagery is quite vivid, and well-put-together. A bit callous, but I gather the tone was intended to be such. Perhaps callous is not quite the word. All in all, an original read. Keep it up.
Andrew |
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Re: Wartorn Smile
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Saturday, 27th January 2007 @ 11:08:45 PM AEST
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Yeah, I took this as a fyou to the war. A sarcastic bit of a write.(I hope my take was right, cause I'm a peace lovin hippie) I couldn't help but thinking of the movie Apocalypse Now...the scene where the soldier is standing there with friggen bombs and crap going off right near and he doesn't blink an eye. Instense movie and your write, extremely intense as well. Had a cousin in Nam who said he'd feel guilty enjoying the "fireworks" in the sky from afar. Your line "beautiful orange sky" made me think of that.
Thanks for sharing.
Peace to you,
Laura (I dont support wars but I do support humans and life and that includes soldiers. My father fought in Korea...he's passed on now, but I admit, I love looking at all the black and white photos he took in the war)
PS I realize I've rambled, but I really thank you for giving me so much to ponder on. |
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