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Emotional Walls
Contributed by
Phantomvampyress
on
Monday, 22nd January 2007 @ 01:00:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
I knew it was simple yet
out of my grasp
I knew the answers... No it wouldn't last!
Haunted by the pasts
you carry on the days
the bleeding within
only the emptiness remains
the walls caving in
and all that is felt is the stain that burns
fill up the holes
that bleed through your souls
screaming to the wind
no one hears your crys of need
no one understands why you can't stand all alone
on your very own
the vessel of envy holds you so tight
trying your hardest to break its grasp
the efforts seem to be in vain
it grips you so violently
taking its reign
Vampyress Jenni
Copyright ©
Phantomvampyress
... [
2007-01-22 13:00:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Emotional Walls
(User Rating: 1 )
by ever1der on
Monday, 22nd January 2007 @ 01:19:13 PM AEST
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| strong write..and yet filled with pathos. You really opened up here. |
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Re: Emotional Walls
(User Rating: 1 )
by zenith66 on
Monday, 22nd January 2007 @ 02:06:35 PM AEST
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They get better and better, oftern the best poetry comes out of a simple thought, i really am loving your writing, seriously keep it up.
let your thoughts flow into words,
And the poem to write itself. |
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Re: Emotional Walls
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 22nd January 2007 @ 03:12:08 PM AEST
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Jenni .. that second stanza is amazing hun. You've captured
enormous emotion here .. so desperately sad and tragic.
alone .. it's a horrible way to find yourself..
(especially when battling demons)
Really liked this one from you. :)
~Breezy |
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Re: Emotional Walls
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Monday, 22nd January 2007 @ 03:24:19 PM AEST
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Really good peek at those walls for which envy is another brick sealing one in. Your pen exposes the inner terrain brilliantly.
Good Job.
Peace
Yang |
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Re: Emotional Walls
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Monday, 22nd January 2007 @ 03:41:19 PM AEST
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Power behind the pen of this write. Your mind is working overtime, great job hun.
Michelle |
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Re: Emotional Walls
(User Rating: 1 )
by myheartsvoice on
Monday, 22nd January 2007 @ 03:57:21 PM AEST
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Calling your writting poetry, is like calling shakespeer just a story teller or beethoven a mere song writter. Your writting is very interesting has alot of substance. Along with the flow, which in your case is irrelavant. It speaks for itself and i pay little attention any ways to judging a poem by it academics, that i save for the wannabee poets. lol. simply put, your in a class by your self.
myheartsvoice |
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Re: Emotional Walls
(User Rating: 1 )
by seafire on
Monday, 22nd January 2007 @ 04:11:21 PM AEST
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this is good jenni . yes you come up with good ideas when you think on things i wish i could put down on paper what i think but it is hard for me to do that as you know. great write
momma |
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Re: Emotional Walls
(User Rating: 1 )
by UrMyInspiration on
Tuesday, 23rd January 2007 @ 08:50:51 AM AEST
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Very sad but beautiful all in one!
no one understands why you can't stand all alone...
I understand.
Keep writing! |
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Re: Emotional Walls
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Tuesday, 23rd January 2007 @ 10:56:19 PM AEST
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Jenni~ my dear friend you have captured your emotions so well in this brilliant write. It's sometimes hard when you are struggling within yourself, but always remember where there is darkness there is always light too. Search deep my dear friend. A strong, powerful & emotional write. Well done dearest Jenni~ Sending you warm wishes always~
love n hugs,
sue m |
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Re: Emotional Walls
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bleedthelove on
Saturday, 27th January 2007 @ 10:07:58 AM AEST
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| So very beautifully written. Excellent job. |
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Re: Emotional Walls
(User Rating: 1 )
by dougnut on
Saturday, 27th January 2007 @ 11:09:39 AM AEST
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Jenni
deep from within
great poetry the second verse especialy spoke to me.
Haunted by the pasts
you carry on the days
the bleeding within
only the emptiness remains
I can empathise.
KUDOS top marks. Thanks for sharing.
Doug :-) |
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Re: Emotional Walls
(User Rating: 1 )
by damnthenet on
Sunday, 4th February 2007 @ 12:57:34 AM AEST
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| a very well written poem filled with emotions |
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Re: Emotional Walls
(User Rating: 1 )
by Loriann on
Sunday, 25th February 2007 @ 11:28:34 AM AEST
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This was a very powerful write. I can feel exactly what is being expressed because I have and still am going through this. This was excellent.
Loriann |
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Re: Emotional Walls
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Thursday, 15th March 2007 @ 06:58:47 PM AEST
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The second stanza stood out the most for me, but then I got to the last one, and it just took me on a ride! It just flowed so well, and made everything come together.
~Scorp. |
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