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Held
Contributed by
wachumiri
on
Sunday, 21st January 2007 @ 10:05:38 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
I stand upon the sands of time
Watching as the darkness lingers
Rising up, then lying down
The waves with me keep watchful eye
Awaiting ‘til my love returns
As I sink down into the sands
Deeper, deeper, buried dreams
All the sea, alive in motion
All in me, in dead emotion
Standing still beside its banks
Waiting for my Love’s return
But now drawn in by greatest tides
I flail and flounder, thrash about
I sink, I drown, I drink the sea
And lose this consciousness called me
Though I could swim
I choose to sink
And drink in deeper
Killing sea
I choose to suffocate, not breathe
I choose the easy way to be
Currents take me where they flow
Dragging, pulling deep below
The will to live, to fight, to swim
Is lost as darkness closes in…
Awaiting, drowning, breathing fast
I wake from dream this day has cast
And pen in hand, I see indeed,
That even sea against me turns
My muse, my passion, nature’s strength
My friend of friends, against me rises
Lift me up, no, let me be
Let me die, or give me breath
But please don’t stay out of my reach
My love, my dream come back and see
That I am drowning in my grief
All you must do is turn my way
And midnight shall be turned to day
I’ll rise from pity, self-made grave
And stumble out, from grasping waves
And on my knees, at last on shore
I cry the tears that pride had held
As salt streams flow into the sea
I’m happy love, you’re home
Copyright ©
wachumiri
... [
2007-01-21 22:05:38]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Held
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Sunday, 21st January 2007 @ 10:10:11 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Hey there, you.
I got first comment, woohoo!
I love this, as you know. I think it's very well done. I love how its pattern changes so much.
I think I like the ending most, such a struggle, but in the end, it's all well again.
Good write, my friend.
*hugs tons*
Phil xxx |
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Re: Held
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Sunday, 21st January 2007 @ 10:18:06 PM AEST
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a Message)
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A big welcome back David~ It's so good to see you posting again. This is a sad, yet wonderful write. I especially love the ending . A top notch write. Thanks for sharing it with us~
warm hugs,
sue m |
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Re: Held
(User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on
Sunday, 21st January 2007 @ 10:25:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I congratulate you on you penning your best poem ever. I am so glad to see you on here, my brother. I am guessing she is back from Sacramento now... |
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Re: Held
(User Rating: 1 )
by loveisendless on
Monday, 22nd January 2007 @ 12:29:43 AM AEST
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A TRUE & COOL WRITE OF HOW LIFE MEANS NOTHING WITHOUT YOUR LOVE! A HEART THAT CAN STILL RISE NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT FALLS,SAVED BY THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE!! CREATIVE WRITE!!!
DAN!!!! |
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Re: Held
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Monday, 22nd January 2007 @ 12:55:40 PM AEST
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David, Wow handsome this is so beautiful. A absolutely beautiful piece filled with so much love and so much longing. There is a lucky girl out there. I so hope you plan on sharing more of your work with us. I was so in love with this one....the ocean, I could see and feel.
Well done. When ya wanna have dinner again at Denny's? *smiles* miss you, man.
Peace and hugs,
Laura |
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Re: Held
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 22nd January 2007 @ 06:11:42 PM AEST
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Oh, David, this is so incredibly beautiful and with and old
style that I SO adore. The images this provokes are
incredible. I am akin to this very emotion .. like the sea
itself, tossing and turning one minute, then calm and
serene the next. And impossibly romantic!!
Lovely write. Just beautiful ~
great returning piece, David. :)
~Breezy |
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Re: Held
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Tuesday, 13th February 2007 @ 11:39:50 PM AEST
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That I am drowning in my grief
Heavens... if I didn't already adore this before I hit that line, it certainly would have been enough, in and of itself, to make me do so. All those silly fairy tales left an awful lot out, no? Yes, yes... happy ever after and all that ---- but.... there is that increasing need that comes along with it... the ache... the longing... the near desperation (and maybe "near" there is inappropriate) and... yes... grief (self imposed, perhaps... but grief nonetheless - and grief, of a necessary, even strangely wonderful, sort I'd suggest).
I love the middle of this piece... beginning from "Though I could swim". It, for me, made the piece grow increasingly more real as it went. Ah, yes... there is most definitely something to be said for wading in deep and giving oneself to the waves!
Wonderful work, David. I enjoyed this.
~Snem |
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Re: Held
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sasha on
Thursday, 26th April 2007 @ 05:04:08 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| To love, and to hurt from it... and for a man to express that, makes perfect poetry!! I love this one, absolutely!! |
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