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Ocean Waves
Contributed by
silver_crested_shadow
on
Sunday, 21st January 2007 @ 01:39:14 AM in AEST
Topic:
SongLyrics
|
Ocean waves,
moves back and fourth.
Ocean waves,
carry me far away.
To a distant land,
where we’ve never been to.
(Break)
Ocean waves,
Crashing upon the boat.
Ocean Waves,
Will you allow me to get there?
(Break)
Ocean waves, before the storm.
Ocean waves, the sea is calling.
Do I answer? the sea is vengeful.
Where I am headed, they can never touch us.
Ocean waves
without a paddle
Ocean waves
I’ll travel still
I’ve dreamed of going there,
since before time began
(Break)
Ocean waves
Drifting closer
Ocean waves
the water splashes inside
As night gets closer, land drifts nearer
my prayers will be answered, My boat floods still
The Land so close to the touch,
My boat it floods still.
My prayers will soon be answered,
As I drift Alone in the sea......
Copyright ©
silver_crested_shadow
... [
2007-01-21 01:39:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Ocean Waves
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Sunday, 21st January 2007 @ 03:37:24 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I like it. It has a lot of atmosphere that's well-captured. It is just a little wordy, though; there are some non-important words which should go. The line 'where we’ve never been to' doesn't need the to, and a few other lines likewise could be structured a little sparser, so that more impact is saved for the most crucial images and words.
Also the last line is just a little long, when it seems to me it should capture a briefer, more fading sense. Mayhap just 'as I drift alone...'
Well, I'm the analytical one tonight. But this is a fine piece. Do keep it up.
Andrew |
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Re: Ocean Waves
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Sunday, 21st January 2007 @ 09:24:13 PM AEST
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I dig it as well it has a steel dream meets ukulele quality that sends me a drift toward sunset.
Good Job
Peace
Yangdantien |
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