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Found Poetry.
Contributed by
faiton
on
Thursday, 18th January 2007 @ 05:53:48 AM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
The last thing I want to do when I get off a bus
Is bounce up and down on a trampoline.
It's either toast or burnt wasps.
I suppose the bears in the zoo like sudoku.
It's all to do with a giant octopus and a magnet.
Copyright ©
faiton
... [
2007-01-18 05:53:48]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Found Poetry.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Thursday, 18th January 2007 @ 01:35:22 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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It took me the longest time to embraced e.e. *****s, but I finally did a while back. Not in the same way I do my favorites, but at least I can respect what it was that he was doing with his work. (Going to your author's note) This felt different to me... the style, I mean, didn't feel overtly e.e.'ish (which is not to imply that's a bad thing... just an observation, this).
This intrigues me, insomuch as I can't help but find myself imagining what it would become if one were to expand on it some. I wouldn't dare recommend that it be worked to the point of becomming a happy-little-poem that looks like every other happy-little poem (gosh, no!)... but do think there's opportunity here to... grow this. It could become, I think, an interesting piece with these lines sort of 'popping' out along the way to disrupt linear thinking and make the reader's mind spin into other-thinking.
Just my two cents... a bit 'o rambling, if you will, of where my mind went when I looked at this. As I said... it intrigued me. I'm not at all aware of what you might have been hoping for in terms of feedback - but if you were interested in hearing "whatever-came-to-mind", there's mine: )
~Snemmy
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Re: Found Poetry.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Tuesday, 31st July 2007 @ 09:49:55 PM AEST
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F, they are perfect as they are, although each would make a beautiful, signature line in absurdist poetry.
My extra overheardees:
They haven't got the gas but they've got the bombs.
Its all in the hips if you've got the nerve.
Not nececelery.
Did you say one and a half on the sides and one on top?
Yarghyerrarghle...mm (bustop drunk before bottle was thrown)
S
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