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strange thing, you
Contributed by
amateurwriter
on
Sunday, 14th January 2007 @ 09:22:12 PM in AEST
Topic:
Nostalgic
|
At times, when there's more liquor than blood,
my mouth craves you.
At a certain hour, under a certain light, my eyes fix on yours,
as if they weren't miles away from here.
In some situations, my brain calls out for your advice, & it comes flying;
for an instant, I borrow your mind, & you don't even know it.
When I close my eyes, I always let a little back door open,
so you can step into my dreams.
Sometimes, when the city is louder than ever,
I can hear the wind whispering your secrets into my ears.
At the sign of a peculiar mellody, you jump on top of my nose,
& dance to it's rythm.
& it becomes our rythm.
I crave, I see. I feel, I dream, I hear, I sing... a strange thing... you.
Copyright ©
amateurwriter
... [
2007-01-14 21:22:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: strange thing, you
(User Rating: 1 )
by Clarity_Rising on
Sunday, 14th January 2007 @ 11:19:16 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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There is no reason anyone
needs to comment harshly
against this poem. It is very
beautiful! I love how you describe
somewhat vulgar things, such as
being drunk as " more liquor than
blood." Excellent write! |
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Re: strange thing, you
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Monday, 15th January 2007 @ 02:38:26 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Nicely worded. It sounds like you're on the right track overall.
Personally I find the ampersand '&' sign a little off-putting, as it's not really language, more of an abbreviated symbol.
Keep it up - I'll look forward to seeing more.
Andrew |
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