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The Garden by the Sea
Contributed by
doug
on
Monday, 8th January 2007 @ 05:29:55 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
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I had a garden once
in a land by the sea
in place of herbs or flowers
I planted apathy
I had no need to water it
nor give it proper care
I gave it not but sad neglect
for long uncounted years
and so it spread growing strong
'till found in every land
grew the stench of apathy
'neath many careless hands
how I'm wishing now that
I had planted flowers there
but how was I to know one hand
could bring the world despair
so now I plant these flowers
in hopes that they will grow
and spread the dream of those who care
before our chance is gone
Copyright ©
doug
... [
2007-01-08 17:29:55] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Garden by the Sea
(User Rating: 1 ) by trini on
Monday, 8th January 2007 @ 06:24:49 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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doug, this is one of my favourite poems that i've read. your metaphors are so powerfull.
your words are so flowing and just... wow...im speachless. Keep up the amazing work!
-Trini |
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Re: The Garden by the Sea
(User Rating: 1 ) by Stoney1 on
Monday, 8th January 2007 @ 06:58:33 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This poem is evidence of a more mature mind, and not the usual vapid drivel one must wade through in here.*g*
Some suggestions for your consideration:
and so it spread, growing strong
Until in every land,
grew the stench of apathy
'neath many a careless hand
Now I wish that I had planted flowers ,
For how could I have known
That one hand could wrought,
And bring forth such world despair
or some such.
Anyway, I love the poem.
Stoney |
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Re: The Garden by the Sea
(User Rating: 1 ) by True on
Monday, 8th January 2007 @ 07:04:08 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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beautiful as always. I was curious as to how you were going to portray apathy. Apathy is the lack of emotions, and poetry is filled with emotions, so they normally don't mix, but you did an excellent job. |
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Re: The Garden by the Sea
(User Rating: 1 ) by shelby on
Monday, 8th January 2007 @ 09:46:02 PM AEST (User
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Doug a touching and very visual write here.
Michelle |
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Re: The Garden by the Sea
(User Rating: 1 ) by FleurdeSang on
Thursday, 5th April 2007 @ 05:14:34 AM AEST (User
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Ahhh, apathy... I know of this. 'Tis a deeply engrained parasite inside of me. Very much like a weed... stubborn and relentless... no matter how many times you try to pull it out or douse it with some foul chemical... It always comes back. And devours all the flowers that were planted... it consumes all of the beauty and will in you, and of the world... Tis a malignant, horrid plague...
I love your metaphors, and your images... You paint with a golden brush, my friend. Luscious colors, even in a write about despondency. True talent. I tip my hat to you. Keep the flame of hope burning, cheri... for you, and others who are encompassed in darkness. Excellent piece. Peace and love.
~Fleur. |
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