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Goodbye
Contributed by
metalguitarist
on
Monday, 1st January 2007 @ 07:39:16 PM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
Im about to go down tonight
Its already too late
I dont wanna do it but thats my fate
I cant beleive what you said
That thought keeps running through my head
You ran out the door and cried the whole way
I chased after you but i had nothin left to say
I saw the car and tried to speak
But nothin came out because i was too weak
You turned around and waved goodbye
I was too shocked to move and started to cry
I watched you die and hoped it was just a dream
But when I woke up the next morning everything was the same scene
You werent there next to me and I started to cry
I took the gun to my head and screamed goodbye
Copyright ©
metalguitarist
... [
2007-01-01 19:39:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Goodbye
(User Rating: 1 )
by MisfitMe on
Monday, 1st January 2007 @ 08:04:23 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Wow! Through most of this, my thoughts were, " Okay, so good rhyme scheme & thus flow. Very relatable...", but then, POW, those last two lines hit me in the face w/ poetic intensity.
Great job!!! & thanks for recommending your writes to me!
BigLoveMuchPeace,
~MisfitMe |
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Re: Goodbye
(User Rating: 1 )
by random_kisses_xoxo on
Monday, 1st January 2007 @ 08:41:38 PM AEST
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a Message)
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its really good! but i hope your not still depressed or anything. that would not be good and it would mean you have been lieing to me.
--->kailee |
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Re: Goodbye
(User Rating: 1 )
by RandyBabyx3 on
Monday, 1st January 2007 @ 09:00:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Kyle. Like ohmygosh. I love it. But you better be scar-free. its really really good. =]
iloveyou
♥Miranda |
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Re: Goodbye
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jen_unknown_to_myself on
Monday, 1st January 2007 @ 10:14:51 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I loved it. Can't say much more. Great write. Keep it up.
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Re: Goodbye
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Tuesday, 2nd January 2007 @ 02:51:56 PM AEST
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a Message)
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wow very powerful write .. I especially loved the ending.. sometimes its hard to say good bye.. awesome job in expression
vampyress Jenni |
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