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I ran way today
Contributed by
moon_light
on
Saturday, 30th December 2006 @ 10:21:19 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
I ran away today.
The pound of my feet.
Mimicking my broken heart.
Sounds of last nights touchier.
Fading into the past.
Ah yes I ran away today.
Free from burden.
Free from Fear.
Nothing but myself.
The unforgiving rode.
The screams seam so far away.
& that my friend.
Is why I ran away today.
It wasn't my fault.
She cosed us so much pain.
Just as i thought,
Things would be o.k.
The volcano erupted.
Leaving dust in her wake.
Pain and sorrow
That made our earth shake.
The reason I ran away today.
I open the door.
All I hear is silence.
Is all o.k.
Is it safe.
Nothings flying.
No ones dead.
Yet the house is full of dread.
All that's left Is to pick up the peaces.
To hope for better times.
I ran away today.
Copyright ©
moon_light
... [
2006-12-30 22:21:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I ran way today
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Saturday, 30th December 2006 @ 10:34:45 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| while your browser can check for some spelling errors it cant check mixups like seem and seam, so you will still get some errors. now with your poem, the repetition was good-not annoying-and even effective. this poem sort of had a light hearted feel to it in some place and in others it had a twinge of sorrow, so congrats on getting that effect. my favorite lines were the first three. thanks for posting. |
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Re: I ran way today
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 31st December 2006 @ 02:10:35 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
i love runaway poems, this one no exception.
i love it...simply love it. some spelling/gramatical errors, but that's not the important part anyway. i can't tell if you have a rhyme scheme or not...hard to tell, although i think there's a slight hint of one. work on that.
despite my criticism , i really did love it. beautiful, emotional - everything a poem should be.
- Bethani - |
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Re: I ran way today
(User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on
Sunday, 31st December 2006 @ 03:08:15 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
well done
I run all the time myself
I can relate to this one. |
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