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Good Enough
Contributed by
xxnights_childxx
on
Monday, 25th December 2006 @ 08:17:46 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
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I said I was never the one for regrets...
But I guess I lied, to you and myself,
These are the things I regret and always will.
I feel regret for not being good enough,
strong enough,
brave enough,
faithful enough.
I regret having to ever hurt you,
for ever giving myself the chance,
for letting you become my everything,
my life,
my best friend,
my love.
You never know what you have until it’s gone,
and by then it’s far too late to ever go back,
can’t take back yesterday or rewind the clock.
I regret letting myself become weak,
if only for a moment,
if only for the pleasure,
if only to prove you right.
And if they crusified me and nailed me to a cross,
just like the Holy Lord himself,
I’d still carry my sins of hurt inside.
Never will I forgive myself,
never can I forget,
never will I change,
never is a promise.
So for some reason I carry on,
hurting myself over and over again,
and why; I’ll never know...
Maybe to remind myself,
of what I had,
of what once was,
of what will never be again.
I loved you; a contradiction in itself,
for if I truely loved, would I have done what I did?
Perhaps, but I know that within this broken soul,
I felt love for another person,
felt happiness,
felt sadness,
felt what it was like to truely live.
But you are too high above me,
Mingling with the brightly burning stars,
and for a moment in my life,
I danced with you amongst them,
But I was blinded by the beauty of them,
now I fall,
now I cry,
now I slowly suffocate.
Within my own misery I sink deeper,
reach out my hand for anyone,
but refuse to take it when the offer comes along.
And no one will ever know why,
except for me,
except for you,
except for the truth.
For I began to tell you lies,
and somewhere along the line,
I broke down inside,
and shut myself out.
closed my eyes,
closed my heart,
closed my soul.
So this is where I’ll remain,
full of self doubt; self hate,
And every time I look in the mirror,
I’ll see a wounded dove,
too broken to ever fly again,
not worth mending back to health.
I said “If you’re a bird then I’m a bird”,
But I’ve pulled out every feather I have,
over and over so nothing beautiful will ever grow back,
ugly now both on the inside and out.
A perfect match.
And I think God Himself should spit upon me,
for I have sinned; but beyond that,
I hurt the only man who could ever truely love me.
For I was given the most wonderful gift,
and threw it right back in His face.
So I’m sorry for not being good enough,
strong enough,
brave enough,
faithful enough,
But sorries have no meaning anymore.
If you asked for my life I would give it freely,
if only it were worth anything pure anymore.
But it’s worthles and meaningless,
No one will want this soul in time,
Not even the devil himself.
If I could give you any advice,
If I had two words left to say,
it would be,
Hate me...
Because I do.
Copyright ©
xxnights_childxx
... [
2006-12-25 20:17:46] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Good Enough
(User Rating: 1 ) by FRANCO on
Monday, 25th December 2006 @ 08:39:42 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Friend, it is a wonderful poem indeed. It is a very emotional confession, an echo from the poet’s heart, friend pl. do not loose heart, there is always someone out in this wide open world who is waiting to love you and to take care of you as what you are.
FRANCO
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Re: Good Enough
(User Rating: 1 ) by Rhei76 on
Monday, 25th December 2006 @ 09:12:36 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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awsome expression of emotions
I feel the pain you have given
the pain that you feel
only wish there was more people
who could put it down like you. |
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