|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Less than perfect
Contributed by
spike
on
Sunday, 10th December 2006 @ 03:16:19 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
she wakes, wakes to nightmares tending
fears and dark thoughts never-ending
always there in slumber’s keeping,
to draw her from her rest
she tries, tries so hard to be good
like her mama said she could-should,
but the worms in the rosewood
Seem to spoil all her dreams
she sees, sees in colours splendid,
her mind focussed and transcended
but many times the world is rendered
in sombre shades of grey
now she hopes, hopes the good times
will wash away all of her crimes
and let her bask in warmer climes,
before the cold returns.
Copyright ©
spike
... [
2006-12-10 03:16:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Less than perfect
(User Rating: 1 )
by Errious on
Sunday, 10th December 2006 @ 06:33:16 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Fantastic poem. Well done. Cool flow and contraversial rhyme.
Well Done.
Tom |
|
|
Re: Less than perfect
(User Rating: 1 )
by eazy6886 on
Sunday, 10th December 2006 @ 10:52:47 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Very nice writing. Like mentioned before got a good flow to it. GOOD STUFF:) |
|
|
Re: Less than perfect
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Sunday, 10th December 2006 @ 04:06:07 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I love the repeat of the first of each stanza and the beautiful flow of it.
MIchelle |
|
|
Re: Less than perfect
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Sunday, 10th December 2006 @ 09:00:21 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
wow i like the flow of this and the approach you took.. I enjoyed this piece alot thanks for sharing
JENNI |
|
|
Re: Less than perfect
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Wednesday, 13th December 2006 @ 06:40:30 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Your fantastic poetry reflects the amazing poet that you are. Your work is always a pleasure to read. I'm so sorry that I have fallen behind on reading all of your brilliant poetry my dear friend. Hey I'm doing some catching up now :-)
Keep up the great work my dear fellow aussie poet & friend~
love n hugs from ur fan/friend,
eternal, infinite_dreamer |
|
|
Re: Less than perfect
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 27th December 2006 @ 08:56:01 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
My dearest poet~
I am tempted to make reference here to the battles within ourselves
to always strive for the greater good. The emotion and provocation
of thought this promotes is overwhelming .. and has left
me pondering my very own choices in life ..
Do we ever know ? Does fate truly have all the cards ? Are we just
victims of her deal ? Or do we possess freedoms we just sometimes
choose to ignore. And then make excuses for our crimes ... like
we had no choices at all ..
good grief, dear poet. You have accomplished the amazing
with this write . I am in a myriad of thoughts and ponderings ... a feat that
is achieved by very few ..
Exceptional write, S. Truly ~
~Breezy |
|
|
Re: Less than perfect
(User Rating: 1 )
by priss on
Saturday, 30th December 2006 @ 08:17:03 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| so beautiful, Spike. i keep reading it over and over (especially the third verse-its my favorite!) i absolutely love it. |
|
|
Re: Less than perfect
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nirvana12 on
Friday, 9th February 2007 @ 01:13:02 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I like this even better than the first one I read, you are very talented and I hope you never stop writing. |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
