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Walk With Me...
Contributed by
tingoo
on
Thursday, 7th December 2006 @ 08:52:46 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
Walk with me…
Walk with me for a bit,
Even thought you think we may not fit.
Let me hold your hand,
Give me a chance to be your man.
Open your heart to me,
Let’s see what the two of us can be.
As they say opposites attract,
How bout the two of us interact.
With each other,
You never know what this walk can mother.
Look me in the eyes,
From now on there will be no goodbyes.
Nothing to hold back,
I know your hearts not pitch black.
There is some color,
And I ain’t no “baller.”
Calling you sweet names,
That’s just not my game.
I’m not trying to get in your pants,
Not trying to take off your garments.
We can walk forever,
We can talk forever,
We can do whatever.
You never know what can come out of a simple conversation,
What could be loves next creation.
So tonight let’s just walk,
At the end you may give me the key to that lock.
That lock around your heart,
You may let me entry to that part.
You never know what together we can create,
And to how we can relate.
So give me a chance on this moonlit night,
And see what sparks we may ignite.
Cause I know together we are just right,
So let me just hold you tonight.
Give me a chance at this romance,
Under the stars we can share a dance.
So listen to what I say,
And decide if you want to stay.
I just want you to walk with me for a while,
Hey this while can turn into a few miles.
Copyright ©
tingoo
... [
2006-12-07 20:52:46]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Walk With Me...
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Thursday, 7th December 2006 @ 11:16:43 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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This piece starts well and has a wonderful flow, there are pearls within able to be polished.
In Death in the Afternoon, Hemingway outlined his "theory of omission" or "iceberg principle." He states: "If a writer of prose knows enough about what he is writing about he may omit things that he knows and the reader, if the writer is writing truly enough, will have a feeling of those things as strongly as though the writer had stated them. The dignity of movement of the iceberg is due to only one-eighth of it being above water..."
This is offered as one senses your 'iceberg' detaching from the glacier as you are writing 'truly.'
Peace
Yangdantien
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Re: Walk With Me...
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Friday, 8th December 2006 @ 12:14:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i like this write..its very powerful.. it reminds me of the beginning of something that could lead to more if given a chance.. i like the flow.. great job thanks forsharing
JENNI |
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