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The Actor
Contributed by
ericdn
on
Saturday, 2nd December 2006 @ 06:58:28 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
We're all of us actors,
And all the world's a stage.
But who am I really?
I swear I've no idea.
I'm not famous, well-known,
You can bet that's for sure.
And yet, before the world,
I'm everyone but me.
They all expect from me
Someone different each time.
Who will I be today?
Who haven't I been yet?
The demands always change,
And I must be prepared.
The more I keep acting,
My real self disappears.
I can be a genius
If that's who they expect.
Or I'll be the clown
Everyone can laugh at.
Looking happy's not hard -
Just put on a big smile.
I've learned the lines by rote.
It's now a worn-out mask.
Being the victim's fun,
Emoting wildly.
But it grows old real fast.
See, people lose interest.
Serious or so wild,
See, I've run the gamut.
It's now too much to bear.
I want to find myself.
Yes, I have emotions,
Just like everyone else.
But I've kept them hidden,
And no one knows they're there.
For even I get sad,
But there's no one to tell.
Who would even notice?
No one's ever seen it.
I have worries and grief
Hidden inside of me.
Just waiting to burst out,
But inside me they stay.
What will tomorrow bring?
I act like I don't care.
But late at night in bed
The thoughts keep me awake.
How can I handle it?
How can I comprehend?
The worry drives me mad,
But then no one must know.
I've loved and lost, it's true.
I know it's all my fault.
Too afraid to let go,
To strip my mask away.
I know I'd feel helpless,
And naked, and exposed.
So I keep pretending
And live another day.
With too much protection,
I spend my life hiding.
I'm waving a white flag.
Now I want to be found.
What will they see in me,
Peeling away the mask?
Just an empty body.
My soul's faded away.
Now I want you to know.
I won't be here for long.
A memory of me.
Of me, yes, but of whom?
I've suffered through the years.
I alone am guilty.
I've been afraid too long.
And now it's just too late.
I've missed out on so much
While putting up a front.
On the surface, quiet.
But inside, a torrent.
How can I show someone
What I'm really feeling?
My soul's too far buried,
Before it even lived.
How I want to tell you!
I've gotten so desperate.
All I say is silence.
It's too late to save me.
The past I can't reclaim,
And the future scares me.
The present I'm wasting.
Inside of me I hide.
So they'll never know me,
And I'll never know them.
But what is there to know?
I don't even exist.
Am I even here, then?
No, and I never was.
All they saw was a ruse,
But they've never seen me.
If I would disappear
A day or two from now,
Who would even notice,
And who would even care?
I'll fade away again
And leave you to your life.
Sorry for intruding.
Good bye, now, and farewell.
Copyright ©
ericdn
... [
2006-12-02 06:58:28] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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