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why wasn't i good enough to help you stop?

Contributed by tearstained_soul on Friday, 1st December 2006 @ 03:33:40 PM in AEST
Topic: drugabuse



my voice is sore from screaming
though i havent made a sound
my heart is sore from bleeding
why do you keep pushing it around?

everyday i wonder
why i wasn't good enough
to help you fight addiction
but Ally? she ws?

why is her happiness important
and ours, nothing compared to yours?
why is she the sunshine
in this darkend life of yours?

what lives inside of her
that gave you so much strength
that your other children do not carry?

she swims....
we already sank.

how could you wait until OUR pain is irreverable
to decide that you love us more than drugs?
or maybe you didn't
maybe it was only HER helped you through

my voice is sore from screaming
though i havent made a sound
my heart is sore from bleeding
why do you keep pushing it around?

you know...
i wake up every morning
knowing i was never enough for you
i lie in bed at night
wondering what i did to deserve all of this

while you guys PRAISE yourselves for getting through it
whitch is good but it's too LATE
you were responsible for the lives of 5 kids
and you only saved one.

How does it feel to abadon your children?
yes, i understand it wasn't PHYSICAL abandoning
but you abondoned our souls, our laugh
we can't find them now....

AND you have the NERVE to tell us
that ALLY is why you quit
another burdon on our shoulders
another thing to brind us down

my voice is sore from screaming
though i havent made a sound
my heart is sore from bleeding
why do you keep pushing it around?

how does it feel to know you contributed
to thoughts of suicide
while you were high coke and crack
you were ruining my life

did you keep count on how many times we got evicted?
how many times i changed schools?
i did - 10! ten schools in ten years of education
all so you can get high

dont think i'm not proud
that you gave it up without rehab
but i'm pretty upset that you had all of us
but only one was good enough...




Copyright © tearstained_soul ... [ 2006-12-01 15:33:40]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: why wasn't i good enough to help you stop? (User Rating: 1 )
by lost_in_the_darkness09 on Friday, 1st December 2006 @ 07:23:29 PM AEST
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This is a really good poem, i can tell you wrote it with alot of pain.
I hope you feel better, but keep on writing, you're good!!

{RAIN}


Re: why wasn't i good enough to help you stop? (User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on Saturday, 2nd December 2006 @ 12:01:46 PM AEST
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A tear jerker here as I have lived through this.
Your pain is so clearly painted with each word.

Hun from experience I can tell you that noone can fix the addict except for themselves.
I also came to learn that at times one day they just wake up to the fact that they are destroying themselves and all those around them. I know it hurts you but when the mind is in a constant fog they listen but do not hear, look but do not see, think but not on what they should be thinking about.

I dont think one single sibling caused the end results, maybe they were at a point of their lives where they saw what they had done all this time. Is she youngest??

Dry you eyes, and work through your pain. You did everything that your were supposed to.

huge heart felt hugs for you.
I do understand.

~Michelle~


Re: why wasn't i good enough to help you stop? (User Rating: 1 )
by Saloni on Saturday, 2nd December 2006 @ 12:33:11 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
really good write.. keep posting..




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