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Whispering Dreams
Contributed by
wizard
on
Saturday, 25th November 2006 @ 11:47:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
A dreaming chance of love anew; how I wonder…
Flowing fields of raging streams
Seizing hopes now torn asunder.
Days of shattered whispering dreams,
Full of tears and heartache under
A sky of jaded wanton themes.
Across these dreary fractured skies
Her beauty sings a sparkling song,
For years held in her sweet disguise;
At last a tune that can’t be wrong.
Whilst my heart joins her in reprise,
It's clear our love will soon belong.
My whispering dreams are finally breached
By a tender loving maiden fair;
Who for so long could not be reached
Nor seen across the gloomy air.
For her angelic eyes so long I’ve preached
To settle my heart's wretched despair.
Now holding her within my gaze
The dampened skies at last can shine…
And the field of streams no longer sways,
As my broken heart is now benign.
Each night her tender song replays,
And my whispering dreams are now divine.
Copyright ©
wizard
... [
2006-11-25 23:47:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Whispering Dreams
(User Rating: 1 )
by jerseysue on
Sunday, 26th November 2006 @ 10:18:10 AM AEST
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| A beautiful write. It has a visionary quality, which has encaptured the feeling and emotion of this write. Truly wonderful. Sue x |
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Re: Whispering Dreams
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ruby2sdy on
Sunday, 26th November 2006 @ 11:01:59 AM AEST
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so lovely! i love the rhyme scheme, different, yet reminiscent of something i can't quite put a finger on... good work anyway!
2sdy x |
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Re: Whispering Dreams
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Sunday, 26th November 2006 @ 11:02:56 AM AEST
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Wonderful post, of dreamin, and seeing.....Inner feel that lingers on. Most beautiful post ......Thank you for sharing this for all to read.
Brew~ |
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Re: Whispering Dreams
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Monday, 27th November 2006 @ 06:19:54 AM AEST
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Wiz~
Such lovely words play such beautiful music inside ones mind. Now my friend what lady wouldn't melt at reading your beautiful poetry.
You are a wonderful and special guy Paul~
Believe in your dreams my friend for those who believe in their dreams they do come true for them.
Always a pleasure to visit your pages my dear friend. For the quality and contents are ever so impressive. Chin up sweet guy someday real soon you'll find the one your hearts been searching for~
love n hugs,
sue m |
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Re: Whispering Dreams
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Wednesday, 29th November 2006 @ 03:00:06 AM AEST
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You big softie you! What a promising write Paul --- I'm sure this inspires every reader who longs for their true love. Beautiful piece!
~Scorp. |
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Re: Whispering Dreams
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Sunday, 3rd December 2006 @ 01:07:06 AM AEST
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I've endured trials here.. trying to join L5 to L6 in S3..
also the 'tense' in L3 of FS, (sways); sway is grammatically, the proper 'tense' there.
..metre seems a bit forced throughout.
Good post bro~
B |
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Re: Whispering Dreams
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Sunday, 3rd December 2006 @ 10:59:22 AM AEST
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in regards to man on high's comment about the use of the word 'sways'.. 'sways' is the grammatically correct choice as it specifies the action or condition of the noun "field"... as in "the field sways", also as in "the boy runs"... as of course a singular noun uses a singular verb, and the singular form of a verb usually ends in 's'... as it would with the verb 'sway'...
at any rate, thank you for your comment.
wiz |
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Re: Whispering Dreams
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Sunday, 3rd December 2006 @ 11:19:40 AM AEST
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again, to clarify on a comment regarding s3, in trying to join L5 to L6 in S3...the confusion probably comes from the use of the word 'preached' which here is meant to mean 'plead' as opposed to its more common meanings...i hope that helps..
wiz |
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Re: Whispering Dreams
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 13th December 2006 @ 05:22:56 PM AEST
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Magnificent, Paul! I hope this is a reality based experience you so beautifully penned.
wabl
KenMoore
cowboy |
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Re: Whispering Dreams
(User Rating: 1 )
by tearstained_soul on
Wednesday, 13th December 2006 @ 11:14:10 PM AEST
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| this is such a beautiful write! keep rockin'! |
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Re: Whispering Dreams
(User Rating: 1 )
by Oceandreamer on
Wednesday, 14th February 2007 @ 03:24:20 PM AEST
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| Yet another beautiful and touching poem.Keep writing. Oceandreamer |
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Re: Whispering Dreams
(User Rating: 1 )
by Loriann on
Wednesday, 21st February 2007 @ 03:22:18 PM AEST
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This poem is beautiful. It is so heartfelt . Your way with words and expressing your inner most feelings is very moving and beautiful.. It shows how beautiful of a person you are .
xoxox
Lori |
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