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If
Contributed by
spiritwind
on
Tuesday, 21st November 2006 @ 01:53:17 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
If we could have had one more moment;
walking hand in hand beneath colors of fall gold.
Our thoughts lost to one another, secrets holding on.
If we could have danced the shorelines
one last time together, waves lapping our bare feet.
Our hearts singing to the sounds of seagulls and beating waves.
If we could have sang one last time
we could have hung onto each lasting note
dancing to our souls desire of our love.
Copyright ©
spiritwind
... [
2006-11-21 13:53:17]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: If
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sparkz16 on
Tuesday, 21st November 2006 @ 02:34:27 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| aint that the truth..nice work liked it alot |
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Re: If
(User Rating: 1 )
by crazy on
Tuesday, 21st November 2006 @ 03:43:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| i love this poem.it's so true for me right now. i love great job. |
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Re: If
(User Rating: 1 )
by secretwind on
Tuesday, 21st November 2006 @ 10:30:45 PM AEST
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I liked this flow
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Re: If
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 22nd November 2006 @ 02:01:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I do like it, but something in the last stanza....
what about changing the second last line to read..
Could have hung onto each lasting note?
Anyways, just a thought, you definately have something good here! |
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Re: If
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 22nd November 2006 @ 02:03:15 PM AEST
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UGgg..
Could we.... |
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Re: If
(User Rating: 1 )
by epsftbllchic1617 on
Monday, 11th December 2006 @ 04:53:50 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Aw, this poem is bitter sweet. It has such a great mode and tone. I really like it. |
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