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the life of one moment

Contributed by Some_Violence on Thursday, 16th November 2006 @ 12:21:58 AM in AEST
Topic: abstract

The germ found its own way into my lung. I felt the itch it left with scars but i must admit i liked the spiderweb of thoughts it made connecting there plane with ours. I felt it scratch and feast upon this dream, fueling it to choke me with a moment that doesn't mean much but is much more than it seems. Tasting the nights with my eyes and hearing it moan, knowing its the same if i bring the moment with me or leave on my own. Although the germs tomorrow is gone mine is being lived today. Not all of us will be here in the morning, not everyone is safe.

Copyright © Some_Violence ... [ 2006-11-16 00:21:58]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: the life of one moment (User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on Thursday, 16th November 2006 @ 01:06:27 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Well, it's interesting, aye, but it's not a poem. It's written in basic narrative prose, and while it's well done, you should use poetic form if you're going to post here. Alternatively, you could pay for a membership and post in the stories section.

Keep writing.

Andrew

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