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Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	22-November 10:41:03 AEST

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Risk

Contributed by bonita2689 on Friday, 10th November 2006 @ 10:13:17 AM in AEST
Topic: abstract

I'm fighting a devil's battle,
sweating incomprehensively
in an ethereal existence,
watching crimson float as flame.

I'm sparking a salacious rendezvous,
confusion hissing in my ear;
a malicious tale of lies, deceit
and purging a sanguine slumber.

I'm teetering the edge of intoxication,
throwing a gaudy fair for those inquiring;
a genuine masquerade to epitomize
my unbelievable, asphyxiated charade

but the greatest risk...

I'm breathing a breath all my own:
swallowing my life half-languished,
purging my dreams of maledictions
-breaking my shell of diffidence.

Copyright © bonita2689 ... [ 2006-11-10 10:13:17]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Risk (User Rating: 1 )
by trini on Friday, 10th November 2006 @ 09:30:14 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This had good meaning, and i liked the stregnth
BUT i found that the wording was a little too large for my taste, i spent too much time thinking about what "epitomize" ment and not so much the next paragraph.
keep up the good work
-Trini

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