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Currently Unavailable
Contributed by
jyssvw22
on
Thursday, 2nd November 2006 @ 05:15:14 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Deteriorating rapidly
With increasing speed
An altered reality
Providing the sickness
On what to feed
Keep it neat
Locked away with a key
Organized and brief
Spoken through lips chapped
Attached to rotting teeth
Breathe without belief
Beyond those which exceed
The dominating need
To feel relieved
To concede-
and coincide
The pressure indeed
Is a mocking killer
Of all that is real
All that is me
A prefect match
This to that
Biological shields combat
Dangerous attacks
Charts and stats
Diagram the facts
Outline the red dots
Circle the missed spots
Count the bills drop
Coins in a tin cup
Stop the rain
Stop the fuss
It came
If it must
It left kicking up dust
The elements left to dry
They too did combust
What is left in foolish trust
When words are literally thrust
Down the throat of the collective us
A toast to the neglected us
The coast
is clear
The crowd
is near
The
end
At
last
_____
__
Copyright ©
jyssvw22
... [
2006-11-02 17:15:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Currently Unavailable
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 4th November 2006 @ 09:49:55 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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jyss, this is so unbelievable deep, my friend ..
to me, upon the first read, it felt like a sort of withdrawl .. but
after subsequent reads, I am not sure now, what exactly to
make of it. It's almost like an escape, but one that the escapee
resents ..
Needless to say, this is incredibly thought-provoking. Your
words and structure never fail to astonish and surprise ..
As usual, I am just slightly perplexed, but left with an
eagerness to understand .. exceptional !!
~Breezy |
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Re: Currently Unavailable
(User Rating: 1 )
by Honey56 on
Tuesday, 7th November 2006 @ 05:01:15 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Excellent write..Very good...
Deep..
honey56 |
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