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Death can be a lie
Contributed by
light_to_your_darkness
on
Wednesday, 1st November 2006 @ 11:25:15 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Slit my wrists and bleed me dry
hold my hands and watch me die
razorblades, my kiss of death
paint your soul in the time that's left
sit back and enjoy the show
you play the biggest part ya know
your bleeding heart was bore for me
so now I'm open for you to see
a pool of blood is where I sit
slowly pouring from where I slit
closing eyes, a world goes black
I slide down as my body's slack
One final look and then I'm gone
the bleeding stops; now come along
cover me in the blackest sheets
lay one black rose on where I'll sleep.
Copyright ©
light_to_your_darkness
... [
2006-11-01 11:25:15]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Death can be a lie
(User Rating: 1 )
by MisfitMe on
Wednesday, 1st November 2006 @ 01:09:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Dark indeed & although not quite my thing a good write.
BigLoveMuchPeace,
MisfitMe
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Re: Death can be a lie
(User Rating: 1 )
by brittaney on
Wednesday, 1st November 2006 @ 07:05:33 PM AEST
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a Message)
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whoa! I really really enjoyed this! It flowed so nicely, and definatly keeps the reader interested. I really liked how you ended it too. Well job! *5 STARS!!!*
Brittaney~ |
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Re: Death can be a lie
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Wednesday, 1st November 2006 @ 08:18:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
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yes its dark but yet gory lol
but i enjoy it alot since i love dark poetry,
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Re: Death can be a lie
(User Rating: 1 )
by PoeticHybrid on
Wednesday, 8th November 2006 @ 06:54:20 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Nice word choice and the flow is excellent as well. You do a wonderful job of catching our attention with the first stanza and you keep hold of it till the end. Very nicely done. |
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Re: Death can be a lie
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jen54 on
Monday, 13th November 2006 @ 08:41:46 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
wow that was powerful. good job
-Jen |
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