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With the Windows Down.
Contributed by
moses
on
Tuesday, 31st October 2006 @ 03:29:02 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
Driving along a lone country road
with the windows rolled down
and my hand floating through the air.
I wonder how you are.
Somehow we managed to seperate,
now I keep my distance.
the memories we hold
behind our cold stares.
No one has the time to care.
Friendships never seem to last.
I miss it all,
you once said, " It's not the jump,
it's enjoying the fall"
Now I kick leaves just to hear a sound.
With broken promises and new addictions
I can't help but stare,
as I drive alone along with the windows down
and my hand floating through the air.
Copyright ©
moses
... [
2006-10-31 15:29:02]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: With the Windows Down.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sio on
Tuesday, 31st October 2006 @ 03:31:25 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| It really speaks of loneliness and I feel connected with it. Sometimes loniness sparks the best poetry. |
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Re: With the Windows Down.
(User Rating: 1 )
by alasdaircairns on
Tuesday, 31st October 2006 @ 04:23:56 PM AEST
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| I love the line "I kick leaves just to hear a sound", a sentiment that anyone who has ever felt alone can empathise with. A lovely write. |
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Re: With the Windows Down.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Wednesday, 1st November 2006 @ 03:09:34 AM AEST
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A fine lyric. It says enough, no more than that, but still paints a vivid picture, as the best poems do.
Good job with line breaks as well. They are very well-placed.
Andrew |
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Re: With the Windows Down.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 1st November 2006 @ 06:39:25 AM AEST
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Intersting placement of rhymes, they were nice touches.
Very full of emotion and images...congrats! |
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Re: With the Windows Down.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Wednesday, 1st November 2006 @ 07:04:25 PM AEST
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Dearest friend, Moses, I feel your loneliness through this piece my dear friend and it saddens my heart to knopw you are feeling like this. I have been there many times and it's the worst feeling anyone could ever have.
Although painfully sad I have to say you did a fine job on this write of yours.
Sadly, sometimes the best poetry comes to us when we are feeling this way. Chin up sweet guy and may the burdens of loneliness be lifted from ur beautiful heart.
love, hugs n prayers,
Sue M
who is glad to see a new post by you~ |
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