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Tantrum
Contributed by
mangos
on
Tuesday, 31st October 2006 @ 08:29:56 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
I slap my face
To see if I am truly alive
Pinch me
In case this dream won't leave me
To rest peacefully
With open eyes
I am in shock
Clam me with your words
I feel lost
Find me in your soul
I am a prisoner
Locked away in a hole
Deliver me an escape
Allow me to rest with you
Sleep in your hands
Under your control
Mesmerized
I am left awestruck
Dumbfounded
Lots of luck
Lots of time
To ponder meanings
Fond of receiving
You into my every being
You are my every reason
For exhaling and breathing
I hurt myself
To see if the pain is relatively soft
Place myself
Into positions
An inclination has rubbed off
A dispersion of germs
Ignited with a sneeze-
and delivered with a cough
For us both
A kiss would cost
Every dime
Every time
I want you
You are lost
I hang upside-down
So the blood will rush
To the base of my brain
Where the cortex connects
And attempts to redirect
The pulses which reflect
The true nature of my thoughts
Replaced instead
With imaginary currents
Clogging up my head
Causing this tingly sensation
Running down my leg
I have been fed
Yet I hungry for what's left
I wait for you
To enter my bed
I hang on every last word
I cherish everything you said
I stay alone
In case you arrive
It is a question of belief
Only the strong survive
Only the clouds
Threaten the potent sky
With only one genuine smile
I convey to you my goodbye
____________
_________
Copyright ©
mangos
... [
2006-10-31 08:29:56]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Tantrum
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Wednesday, 1st November 2006 @ 03:02:30 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Impressive power and momentum here. Some of the verbs you've used (such as "clam") are very vivid, which adds much to the piece. I enjoyed this one indeed - keep it up!
Andrew |
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Re: Tantrum
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Saturday, 25th November 2006 @ 05:28:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Appropriately titled, but a potent, yet positive one at least. Your writes seem more emotive these days --- which is a good thing if you ask me. It makes your work even more enjoyable to read.
~Scorp. |
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