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Classic I'm a Loser Love.
Contributed by
sally-heart-jack
on
Saturday, 28th October 2006 @ 06:36:29 PM in AEST
Topic:
PoemsonBeauty
|
Now I can't believe what I didn't realize.
I once thought of you as difficult.
now you're what I idealize.
I can't escape this,
because I've made it too serious.
But I'd do anything to bury this down
I'd die to stop feeling this delirious.
Jack sings, "how could I be so blind?
All is lost.... Where was I?"
And I share the same mood
of giving yourself dry, where everything's awry.
"Try as I may, it doesn't last."
she is saying
The melody echoes off the floor
I look up as I'm praying
Even when you treat me special
I know it's just as friends.
And that makes it worse for me, like seeing a
diamond through a camera lens.
We sing to the same song, we both have
the same sort of hurt.
I swear, we're like two halves
of the Grateful Dead on your tee-shirt
I realized it when I noticed
that we have the same unique color eyes.
And I want to show you this writing,
want you to read the reprise.
[[ The overall theme. ]]
It crawls up into my throat
when I stand next to you.
I swear, I can feel it.
It makes my mouth hurt.
The basic point is
you're my desire.
Tell me you miss me too.
Spit me up from this fire.
I'm making up tunes, the moon is up in the afternoon
Singin' words like,
"My mom told me I'm a loner.
I'm a-loner.
I'm alone."
Copyright ©
sally-heart-jack
... [
2006-10-28 18:36:29]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Classic I'm a Loser Love.
(User Rating: 1 )
by sally-heart-jack on
Saturday, 28th October 2006 @ 06:37:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I meant to say 7th stanze in the Author's Notes, ooops!! |
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Re: Classic I'm a Loser Love.
(User Rating: 1 )
by one-curly-fry on
Sunday, 29th October 2006 @ 01:59:50 AM AEST
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Very clever write. It is a bad feeling feeling so strong for someone who you feel sure only thinks of you as a friend huh? I've been there a few times myself - even lost a friend or two over my feelings... The use of references is good, but even on it's own right, that is to say, not knowing the references, one can still follow the meanng and power of this piece.
I especially like the last stanza - summing up how you feel inside with this happening around you..
Nice write!
- Tim |
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Re: Classic I'm a Loser Love.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 29th October 2006 @ 09:15:49 PM AEST
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wow this reminds me of the guy i've been writign about!
"Even when you treat me special
I know it's just as friends.
And that makes it worse for me, like seeing a
diamond through a camera lens.
We sing to the same song, we both have
the same sort of hurt.
I swear, we're like two halves
of the Grateful Dead on your tee-shirt"
wow..you hit the nail on the head....he makes me feel special....btu he's just being a friend....i like him..he lieks someone else (she doesnt seem to feel as strong abtou him as he does her)"same sort of hurt"
we have soo much in common "two halves"
"It crawls up into my throat
when I stand next to you.
I swear, I can feel it.
It makes my mouth hurt."
this is very true as well...every time i see him i want to tell him but somethign stops me...and it does make my mouth hurt....or rather my stomach.....that wierd feeling the fluttery one..adn sometimes it does get as strong as to make my throat hurt....
you poured your heart and soul into this and the result is amazing
you write good too julia!
*ashley* |
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