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Please leave comments
Contributed by
krish
on
Sunday, 16th February 2003 @ 08:20:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
They say you'll be hard to get over,
I know I cant do it alone - especally not sober.
everything you hate about me, I see in you.
To yourself you arnt even true.
I know your intentions are not ill,
but like shaking an hourglass, your actions quicken the fill.
you never tell me how you have been,
only with whome you choose to sin.
i can let you go,
Maybe then I will know;
how it's all gonna' to end.
Depression is such a tricky thing.
So hard to pinpoint what causes my ears to ring.
I am over you and your manipulitive intentions.
Go head - lead me on as my heart thickens.
It's been a long lonely night,
With the blind bow boy I pick a fight.
Sitting there up in his snipers pirch,
He thinks he's so smart.
Caught me last time with my back turned,
So here I am again you Coward - pierce my heart!
Copyright ©
krish
... [
2003-02-16 08:20:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Please leave comments
(User Rating: 1 )
by Valerie_Pearson on
Sunday, 16th February 2003 @ 11:04:00 AM AEST
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| within these words I see alot of sorrow and pain, Love yourself unconditionally and forgiveness comes alot easier, who-ever that is you speak of seems lost and can't find a path at this present moment, take care, |
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Re: Please leave comments
(User Rating: 1 )
by exiled on
Sunday, 16th February 2003 @ 02:01:00 PM AEST
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i dont even know if you are talking about someone other than yourself. for this i cannot be sure. yet, if you are not it seems as though you love someone with all of your heart and loath, or hate, them at the same time. and you know that they are no good for you but your heart seems to beat for them and you cant help loving them.
(exiled) |
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Re: Please leave comments
(User Rating: 1 )
by TheSpiritx on
Wednesday, 19th February 2003 @ 05:04:47 AM AEST
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I can leave no encouragement, as I have none left to even give myself. I've hit a rough time in life and, although I should be a seasoned veteran of such things, I fail each time to cope properly. In any case...
It's been a long lonely night,
With the blind bow boy I pick a fight.
Sitting there up in his snipers pirch,
He thinks he's so smart.
Caught me last time with my back turned,
So here I am again you Coward - pierce my heart!
^ This part was great. I good ending to a poem, though the superficial reading doesn't provide the reader with clarity. Or... is that because it is 4 in the morning? Either way, you have a flare. Good job. |
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Re: Please leave comments
(User Rating: 1 )
by krish on
Wednesday, 19th February 2003 @ 05:30:07 AM AEST
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As Promised,
Here is the interpritation of my write:
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
(Exiled) Had it right in that our actor hated as well as loved the person described in this write. Both people obviously are very much alike, however our actor resents the actions that drove a wedge between their relationships. Our actor has learned hate in an otherwise pure relationship. Because of the similarities they share our actor hates him/her self. Because of their bond and his/her inability to let go of his/her mate, our actor manifests his/her frustration into depression, and anger.
Paragraph 1-3 describe a serious relationship ultimately ending with "I can let you go" - Note that the third line in paragraph 3 is not paired with another rhyming phrase. I did this intentionally to show that our actor is unable to ever completely let go. You see throughout paragraphs 4 & 5 that the wound affects our actor's new life, making him unable to move on.
The phrase, "blind bow boy," refers to Cupid (Eros). (Love is blind; cupid carries a bow. get it?) In lines 3-6 of paragraph 5, Our actor questions cupid's intentions and almost calls him evil.
"Caught me with my back turned" - refers to being stabbed in the back; [love is a positive thing, being stabbed in the back is love's polar opposite:: the relationship was full of love, our actor feels stabbed in the back by the actions of his/her first love]
"So here I am again you Coward - pierce my heart" - Through this phrase I tried to give readers the image of our actor facing this mischievous cupid, shirt torn, with enough fury to take on the gods.
This write is basically an expression of just how strongly emotions can fuel actions. I personally am amazed by the power to love and be loved. I am equally amazed by the pain associated with it. To love is to live at two extremes of a very powerful continuum and still experience every emotion in-between.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
p.s. Please leave more feedback.. i love to hear what people are thinking, and find out if my babble makes any sense. :) |
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