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The Shack
Contributed by
oneir8dude
on
Monday, 23rd October 2006 @ 11:59:45 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
One day in autumn when the leaves were blowing...
The creek was chilled the water still flowing...
A boy and his sister went talking and strolling...
So closed to Halloween and felt the feeling...
They played and laughed with the fun of being a child...
The chill of the wind was there but, felt so mild...
They came upon an old run down shack...
The boy went in but, the girl turned back...
She was scared of what they might find...
But her brother paid no never mind...
As the girl started walking she heard her brother scream...
The sound shot through her, It hurt her soul it would seem...
She turned to look and saw her brother running out...
He was shaking, pure white, "RUN!" he began to shout...
As the word started to spill from his lips...
On a dead tree trunk the boy slips...
He hit the ground with a hard fall...
Through the door a shadowy image big and tall...
With a complete coat of hair and snarling teeth...
It was so large it sunk into the earth underneath...
It let out a roar that would chill your spine...
Slobber and blood dripped off its canines...
The girl thought her brother was gone...
Some how this childish fun went all wrong...
The thing headed for the little man...
The girl couldn't move she felt she was stuck in sand...
Before her weary eyes, The beast reached her little sibling...
He grabbed him up with one hand, Her fear it seemed to bring...
Just as she hid her dreadful gaze, and grimaced at her brother's demise...
The monster doubled over in laugher and began to crack wise...
The Boy and the girl were in deep shock...
The beast's head began to cock...
It hit the floor as he laughed so deep...
The kids frozen in their tracks not making a peep...
It laughed and laughed as the children felt bad...
As their tears cleared up they began to be mad...
For it was all a prank... It was only dad...
Copyright ©
oneir8dude
... [
2006-10-23 23:59:45]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Shack
(User Rating: 1 )
by sadaddy on
Tuesday, 24th October 2006 @ 12:13:38 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow guy, what a excellent write. That is my kinda dad. Yes, I do things to scare our children all the time. Oh by the way they get even with me too. Matter of fact, I can not wait until this Saturday night. LOL
sadaddy |
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Re: The Shack
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Tuesday, 24th October 2006 @ 02:04:32 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Super write, Bill. You really had me going. I was starting to think...ewww this is getting to be too much....LOL Nice poem for Halloween. Peace, Laura |
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Re: The Shack
(User Rating: 1 )
by Winterland on
Tuesday, 24th October 2006 @ 10:56:09 AM AEST
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a Message)
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You had me right on the edge of my seat ~ I couldn't believe it when the monster started laughing! Nasty, nasty.
Very captivating! Great job.
Jennifer |
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Re: The Shack
(User Rating: 1 )
by ever1der on
Tuesday, 24th October 2006 @ 06:45:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| that pic is wonderful and the write was fantastic..thanks for the entertainment :) |
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Re: The Shack
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Wednesday, 1st November 2006 @ 07:19:56 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Oh Bill, you had me on the edge of my seat thinking my gosh this boy is gonna meet his fate, lol. What a twist and I gotta say a good one too. A most entertaining and enjoyable write. Thanks so much for the smiles my friend.
love, hugs n prayers,
Sue M |
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Re: The Shack
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Friday, 17th November 2006 @ 07:15:05 AM AEST
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a Message)
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lmao....this is great my friend. Thanks for a laugh to start off my day :o)
Very well done
Barkeep!!
Larry |
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Re: The Shack
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Wednesday, 13th December 2006 @ 01:14:59 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Sad but well written.
Good work, my friend,
big smile,
emy |
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Re: The Shack
(User Rating: 1 )
by AndyRaw on
Friday, 9th December 2011 @ 01:33:56 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| You do a very good job of creating story that draws one in |
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