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A Clip Board
Contributed by
one-curly-fry
on
Friday, 20th October 2006 @ 12:15:17 AM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
It’s a warm morning
he, in a fresh, crisp suit
hair tamed
a big grin
- inhale that spring air!
flip open the clip board
- made for real leather
first agenda
- ticked
second…
- ticked
third?
- ticked
What’s going on?
Race down that page
- all ticks
the second page, the third…
like the lover with first trust
- he reveals the underside
first look at the shiny backing
- the fresh scent of leather
each and all; ticked!
Panic! Panic takes him
a shiny, new spring morning
the wife kissed
- the stepping out
with no agenda
with no return
a day! What a clear and glorious day
but not agenda!
Foreign, oh so foreign
no mail in the box
- no business
just this glorious dawn
with no leading hand
free choice
- his ultimate goal
catches him of guard.
27/9/06
Copyright ©
one-curly-fry
... [
2006-10-20 00:15:17]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Clip Board
(User Rating: 1 )
by Alison on
Friday, 20th October 2006 @ 07:22:51 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I love the way you end this one. Also the way you talk about him gives more than a picture, the reader can also get a feeling of how the man is. wonderful write!!!! |
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Re: A Clip Board
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 1st November 2006 @ 02:41:17 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
I guess you could say he had his work cut out for him! i love how his confusion is compared to that of a relationship! just like a "what the heck??!!" type thing!
Did he get fired and not know it??? that's kinda sad...
I love the ending...how it's not very final...as if everythign can change...thigns will get better...it's not final b/c it kinda sounds like there should be more....but if you added anythign...anythign at all it would be too final...it's an open-ended poem that is just awesome!
yay!
*ashley* |
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