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False
Contributed by
poetichybrid
on
Monday, 16th October 2006 @ 04:03:15 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
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False aspirations
Lead my inspirations
As I strive for what I don't need
Yet desperate to succeed
Even with an empty win
Light washes over the darkness within
Numbing my sense of pain
Giving the illusion of gain
Sad truth is I'm no further than I started
Probably fell behind because I'm so guarded
Spiraling down toward the end of time
Disillusionment is my last crime...
Copyright ©
poetichybrid
... [
2006-10-16 16:03:15] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: False
(User Rating: 1 ) by ever1der on
Monday, 16th October 2006 @ 04:31:32 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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wow..for a 2 minute thought process this is really something. |
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Re: False
(User Rating: 1 ) by aloneinthememory on
Monday, 16th October 2006 @ 06:15:12 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wow, it only took you 2 min? This is really good. It sounds like it would have taken longer. Love it. Fits a lot of thought into a short poem. Very good.
Fox |
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Re: False
(User Rating: 1 ) by EddieDean on
Tuesday, 17th October 2006 @ 11:58:47 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wow man, nice write, full of emotion. Even though it only took 2 minutes to write, its a good piece of work. Keep it up my friend, nicely done.
Eddie Dean |
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Re: False
(User Rating: 1 ) by one-curly-fry on
Tuesday, 17th October 2006 @ 08:33:05 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I like this one. The last stanza is very good and sums it up very nicely. Sometimes it's better to just get up and forgo the comfort.
You never know - you may come across the greatest thing ever, just by stepping out the house. Life's too limited... But I guess you know all this!
Nice write!
- Tim |
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Re: False
(User Rating: 1 ) by SerenePsycho on
Wednesday, 18th October 2006 @ 09:10:57 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Come on man. It took you a whole two minutes to come up with this. You must have been distracted. LOL. I like this one, although the first two lines bother me. I was curious when you told me that you rhymed with aspirations. It's not awful, but it's far enough off that it makes me *blink* *blink*. Otherwise, really nice. |
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Re: False
(User Rating: 1 ) by MandiLee on
Saturday, 4th November 2006 @ 09:40:42 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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wat a beautiful poem! your an amazing poet its really really good and if you need someone to talk to don't be afraid to email me w0nderw0man182@hotmail.com |
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Re: False
(User Rating: 1 ) by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 2nd May 2007 @ 04:18:44 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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beautiful expression of feelings whilst ruminating with your muse:)
love n' hugs nessa |
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