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I Miss
Contributed by
poetichybrid
on
Saturday, 14th October 2006 @ 08:06:46 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
The feeling I most miss
is the absolute feeling of bliss
and the way my heart raced
while you and I embraced
Now gone are those feelings of happiness
instead there is an emptiness
that grows larger everyday
I'm unable to keep the depression at bay
My world now seems shattered
leaving me bruised and battered
Hoping one day to see the light
and end my eternal night.
Copyright ©
poetichybrid
... [
2006-10-14 20:06:46]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I Miss
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 14th October 2006 @ 08:26:19 PM AEST
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a Message)
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okay, i know you prolly hate hearing this...but i know exactly how you feel (if i'm reading it the way you intended to write it...)
mostly...this part --->>> "Leaving me unable to keep the depression at bay"
but anyway....wonderful write, i loved it.
- Bethani - |
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Re: I Miss
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Saturday, 14th October 2006 @ 08:37:23 PM AEST
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So sad but welllwritten.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: I Miss
(User Rating: 1 )
by one-curly-fry on
Sunday, 15th October 2006 @ 11:14:43 PM AEST
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Don't we all?
They say the one will come by one day... I ain't holding my breath however > there's better things to be doing with my time!
Nice write - my only thoughts are (and this is just personal - one's work is ones work and no-one can really judge that) that if this was to be more powerful, it would have to be more gritty.
But as I said - it is still a nicely contructed piece and these are just my beliefs on poetry.
Good write!
- Tim |
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