|
Menu
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
800 pounds
Contributed by
randyjohnson
on
Wednesday, 11th October 2006 @ 07:42:33 AM in AEST
Topic:
HumorPoetry
|
Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4" tall and about ten feet wide.
She weighs 800 pounds and I married her when I was drunk.
She eats and eats and my bank account has significantly shrunk.
She rolled over on me in bed and broke fifteen of my bones.
I wish she'd pack her bags and leave me on my own.
She's mean, she has warts on her face and it's tearing me apart.
When we go out in public, she always farts.
When she passes gas, it's louder than TNT and it really stinks.
I should've listened to my parents when they told me never to drink.
She asked if she's as sexy as Lindsay Lohan and I said hell no.
If she ever gets pregnant, you won't be able to tell that she shows.
She never shaves her legs and there is a lot of hair.
It's like making love to a bear.
I drive my car really fast and I hope to die in a crash.
I learned to live with her until she grew a mustache.
Copyright ©
randyjohnson
... [
2006-10-11 07:42:33] (Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment. That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: 800 pounds
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 11th October 2006 @ 09:26:42 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Heh... that's funny. I have to say that I'm glad it's fictional. I would feel horribly sad for you if it wasn't. |
|
|
|