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The One I Need To Need Me
Contributed by
Ruby2sdy
on
Tuesday, 10th October 2006 @ 06:16:47 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Love, isn’t really for me;
It’s a thing other people fall into,
The place I want to be,
Yet no matter how I try, my intentions are rebuked,
The train has been delayed;
Sorry, no refunds.
And then I turn to leave,
It suddenly whooshes by,
It’s all just time and place,
It’s all just truth or lie.
Where does it go?
When I’m standing on this platform,
Ticket in my hand,
The courage to continue,fazes me, escapes me,
And the door closes,
Before I even get my foot on the step.
Or worse, I’m on it, and it leaves,
And then I realise I’m headed in the wrong direction.
All I want is someone to want me to want them.
I’d love someone to love me to love them.
I need someone to need me to need them.
But the one I need to need me,
The one I’d love to love me,
The one I want;
Is on another platform.
Already boarded his train.
Copyright ©
Ruby2sdy
... [
2006-10-10 18:16:47]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The One I Need To Need Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 11th October 2006 @ 04:44:08 PM AEST
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a Message)
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this is amazing. the way you doubt yourself the entire time..the way you make the reader want the same thing you do. and i love the way everything was compared to a train station.
beautiful.
- Bethani - |
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Re: The One I Need To Need Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Leoricx on
Saturday, 14th October 2006 @ 03:43:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Very nice.
It's a special place, one that I'm envious of, that people occupy when they find that 'one' (even if the 'one' is the first of many such 'ones'). You've captured nicely the feeling, almost of desperation, that no matter how hard you try you're left 'standing on the platform.'
I particularly like lines 19-21. The percussive sound of them read aloud conjours the image of a train rushing along on it's tracks.
A very cleverly written piece.
:D |
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Re: The One I Need To Need Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by doug on
Saturday, 14th October 2006 @ 06:55:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
I feel for you. This was a
moving poem and a well
expressed one. I don't see
this as self-pity. You expressed
an honest heartfelt desire for
something you need , something
we all need and there is nothing
wrong with that. Hope you find
the one. Truly , Doug
P.S. Next time you should chase that
train down and rob it. -lol - good luck. |
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Re: The One I Need To Need Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by LetTheSunComeUp on
Tuesday, 19th December 2006 @ 03:06:25 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Nice poem. I was able to connect as I know the feeling you speak of. It’s frustrating to say the least. You'll find "the one" some day. :) |
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