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Eyes Wide Closed
Contributed by
Ruby2sdy
on
Tuesday, 3rd October 2006 @ 04:45:19 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Even here in the UK the Amish School Killings have made an impact; I wrote this after watching the news, not my usual style, or topic, but I felt I needed to write and share this one, thanks for reading, Tuesday xxx
Fire fire burning bright,
In the war of this dreadful night,
This sickness of the mind doth breed,
Ever planting its bitter seed,
Eyes wide closed to the world around,
Ears locked, don’t take in sound,
Inflict on others the pain we feel,
Uncertainty clouds, this life is real,
Voices raised for the sake of noise,
Beauty is gone, as is grace and poise,
Innocent children never did wrong,
Still trying to find the words to their song,
Then the music was snatched; cruelly taken away,
By another so callous, led so far astray,
But innocence lives forever, should we carry it in our hearts,
And remember that when one joy ends, another simply starts.
Copyright ©
Ruby2sdy
... [
2006-10-03 16:45:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Eyes Wide Closed
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 3rd October 2006 @ 04:58:01 PM AEST
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deep dark little poem
good ryhming on this
keep up the good work and i will be reading |
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Re: Eyes Wide Closed
(User Rating: 1 )
by Chamaron on
Tuesday, 3rd October 2006 @ 06:40:44 PM AEST
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| Profound statements and in beautiful form. It intrigued me from the get-go and held my attention throughout, especially with the well done rhyme scheme. You captured some master ideas quite well. |
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Re: Eyes Wide Closed
(User Rating: 1 )
by ever1der on
Tuesday, 3rd October 2006 @ 09:08:55 PM AEST
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| great thoughts, but i did think you changed the rythem about mid way, and the flow changed..which made the poem lose a bit of power..just me maybe. |
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Re: Eyes Wide Closed
(User Rating: 1 )
by strawberryshortcake on
Wednesday, 4th October 2006 @ 01:02:11 PM AEST
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| very profound work here. extremely well worded. tragic but truthful subject. great flow.this is a definitely memorable piece. keep up the wonderful work. |
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Re: Eyes Wide Closed
(User Rating: 1 )
by secretwind on
Monday, 30th October 2006 @ 08:03:24 PM AEST
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| Excellent poetic InnerVision |
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Re: Eyes Wide Closed
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 19th December 2006 @ 09:33:56 AM AEST
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Excellent depiction of the hopeful condemnation of "cruelty". Fine work, RT! Oh, I woulda been a little more hard on those callous so 'n' sos. Just me.
wabl
KenMoore
cowboy |
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