|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
The Absolute BLOOM
Contributed by
sally-heart-jack
on
Friday, 29th September 2006 @ 11:24:46 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
I’m breaking down
I don’t want to feel
I don’t mean to be sad or spiteful
But I’m sorry, my eyes view surreal.
I can’t dream. I just can’t imagine lately
Think of what I lived for before.
My thoughts have been pondered
My questions have been answered
So why do I still wander?
Why am I still here?
I’ve been down there with you,
Your face isn’t the same though.
Despite the agony we both felt,
Since a long time ago.
Unlike me, those bittersweet feelings aren’t still with you.
Those shaky words I wrote
on the table with chalk
Don’t worry, just let me pretend this feel
And let me keep my door locked
Even if you feel I don’t mean this
Let me pretend you care.
I don’t feel to draw breath,
I don’t dare to dream
I don’t try to see the world
As if it’s smaller than me
So I’m gonna tell you,
I don’t deserve to stand
My mouth will set off my feet slipping
And I will sink under this land.
I will throw away that treasure box
That’s lost its’ own key
I’m flying high outta here
Giving over misery.
Istepdown
Copyright ©
sally-heart-jack
... [
2006-09-29 23:24:46]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: The Absolute BLOOM
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Saturday, 30th September 2006 @ 02:23:12 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
this is awesome writing.
Hang tuff friend, as u r a great writer.
huggs,
emy |
|
|
Re: The Absolute BLOOM
(User Rating: 1 )
by one-curly-fry on
Monday, 2nd October 2006 @ 06:15:48 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
beautifully constructed. If you mean the first stanza - just run it through in your head a few times. You'll often find that it finds its natural beat that way.
I personally think it's all a very good poem and with some nice lines - esp. the stanzas that your addressing another person - good construction of ideas in short lines.
I feel this one and hope your not feeling too down.
Keep up the great work!
- Tim |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
