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THE RED QUEEN'S DOMAINS
Contributed by
poewhit
on
Thursday, 28th September 2006 @ 08:04:11 AM in AEST
Topic:
Event
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High on the table of life.
GOLDEN CALF T.V. on.
I sit and worship all day.
Smut,porn, killing ways.
MY NEW MOTHER TO ME.
Your point of view is true.
My surrogate MOM-
I LOVE YOU.
Sometimes you are hateful,
other times you are true.
GOOD & EVIL.
GOD CAN ONLY JUDGE THAT.
YET-MY MOM TRUE.
BIG BROTHER-was a baby,
next to you.
Copyright ©
poewhit
... [
2006-09-28 08:04:11]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: THE RED QUEEN'S DOMAINS
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Friday, 29th September 2006 @ 12:42:05 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Personally I've always thought all caps detrimental to the poetic nature of a piece; italics might serve you better. It's an interesting and insightful piece, but maybe a little too end-stopped. The flow, with almost every line ending in a period, is a bit jerky.
Keep it up.
Andrew |
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Re: THE RED QUEEN'S DOMAINS
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Tuesday, 3rd October 2006 @ 07:25:40 AM AEST
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Yes, the great hypnotic eye. As Homer Simpson mused, 'mother, wife, secret lover' (a bit self-referential, but I think that 's the point). I think Andrew's right -maybe one too many full stops, but a thoughtful politico-social reflection, none the less.
S |
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