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To Be RUPTURED Split
Contributed by
sally-heart-jack
on
Wednesday, 27th September 2006 @ 06:36:52 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
Sometimes I wish I would just say it
Though the reaction I would see as an attack
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t scared
I would tell you, read your face, then take it back.
I wish I didn’t have to hide in cars, be afraid of the dark
When I feel like I didn’t face it with courage
This is how I leave the mark,
I just want to make sure I can bleed when I want to.
It’s not something I’d wish for if I had the free will,
but everyone’s got their peeling point
and mine’s seen as just a drama pill.
It shows that pain is real.
That it’s not a fabric
It can’t be worn and shown off to friends
And it’s not just a misery stamp.
Let me tell you what I am.
I’ve found the justification.
I’m what you’d call an emotional ghost
Longing for sensation.
It’s real feel going through your heart.
It shows the world our emotional art.
Copyright ©
sally-heart-jack
... [
2006-09-27 18:36:52]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: To Be RUPTURED Split
(User Rating: 1 )
by CaptainSpaldo05 on
Wednesday, 27th September 2006 @ 08:37:47 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Yes...yes indeed.
Great write, theres no messy in poetry...
Loved it! |
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Re: To Be RUPTURED Split
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Wednesday, 27th September 2006 @ 10:35:46 PM AEST
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Wow this one is heavy, wize, painfull and truth full.
I can only imagene what inspired this masterpeice but I'm sure there's mucho pain involved.
Keep writing!
u r great with this gift.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: To Be RUPTURED Split
(User Rating: 1 )
by one-curly-fry on
Thursday, 28th September 2006 @ 06:48:59 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I'm very impressed - at 14!! Gee, wish I started when I was your age - then I mite be a bit better at my writing at this age and would know myself a little more.
Don't judge yourself too harsh - this is a very good poem. You have a strong hold on simile and metaphor in this piece. You must, as well, know yourself better than many people your age.
If you ever worry about how messy it is (which this isn't) always just read through it to yourself - following the flow you intend for it. If you trip over any section, just try to work on that until it runs off the tongue how you'd like it to. (it's a little trick I was taught)
I'm going to keep an eye out for your work!
Great write!
- Tim |
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