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Forgiven by Ourselves
Contributed by
shinji_kusa
on
Tuesday, 26th September 2006 @ 01:16:39 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
Scissor runner,
Won’t you stutter,
To give all us a hardy laugh,
We’re goin to hell,
But we’re eager to tell,
Our sins to the entire world,
That’s life,
Its strife,
Hippocrates is everyone,
But you know…
This show…
Will end…
So forgive them.
Copyright ©
shinji_kusa
... [
2006-09-26 13:16:39]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Forgiven by Ourselves
(User Rating: 1 )
by WorthlesSanity666 on
Tuesday, 26th September 2006 @ 02:09:45 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I like the ending. We just need to live and let live. Forgive the fools for none of it really matters. |
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Re: Forgiven by Ourselves
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Tuesday, 26th September 2006 @ 06:29:36 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Well, no offence, but personally, if you want your writing to look professional and be respected I would consider chaging your thoughts toward spelling.
It's not hard to spell check or even to check the box to ask for a moderator edit.
You asked to know what we thought, and this is what I think. Your writing will not be taken seriously unless you try.
Other than that, I like this. The rhyme and flow are pretty good, and it all works rather nicely.
Phil xxx
(Who never only says part of what she thinks) |
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