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Hopeless
Contributed by
Tabo
on
Monday, 25th September 2006 @ 04:38:30 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
There was a man, who had a plan
for the coming of tomorrow.
he once was bold, he now grows old
and his only friend is sorrow.
There is a chime, he's out of time
and now he knows it is to late.
In the mirror, there falls his tear
he knew was there because of fate.
Where was his voice, was it his choice
or was all of this meant to be?
Which were the ones, that had this done
why was he so blind not to see?
Now he looks back, and makes a pact
"I control my own destiney!"
Holding his gun, it will be done
and with a bang he now was free.
In his last breath, before his death
a voice inside him said; "with this sin..."
Death he now wooed, as it continued;
"your life will end, and I will win again."
Hearing the laughing, as he was passing
he dreamed of the life that he never had
It was that dream, that caused his scream
That had finally driven him mad.
Copyright ©
Tabo
... [
2006-09-25 16:38:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Hopeless
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 25th September 2006 @ 06:38:50 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| it is a good poem. it is well written and rhymed |
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Re: Hopeless
(User Rating: 1 )
by Oneir8dude on
Monday, 25th September 2006 @ 09:47:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Very nice Work here... I really liked this... The messageis sad but your style is fantastic... I read this 4 times... Keep it up good job
Nice write
thank you
Bill |
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Re: Hopeless
(User Rating: 1 )
by thumper on
Monday, 25th September 2006 @ 11:39:58 PM AEST
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I enjoyed this. Good R&R. Smooth read and the story line was excellent. Write on and Peace to ya.
Thumper ;o) |
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Re: Hopeless
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Tuesday, 26th September 2006 @ 12:37:29 AM AEST
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Very sad but well written.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Hopeless
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Tuesday, 26th September 2006 @ 12:56:18 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Tabo~
You have done an amazing job with this write. The rhyme and flow sensational. Although the contents are sad your poem was well worth the read. Terrific job, well done. Take care
hugs n prayers,
Sue M |
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Re: Hopeless
(User Rating: 1 )
by AnastasiaN on
Tuesday, 26th September 2006 @ 06:07:06 AM AEST
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| often i have thought about taking "the easy way out" but it's not necessarily all that easy...and in the end i won't be declared the triamphant...it's so twisted that it *****es me off! |
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Re: Hopeless
(User Rating: 1 )
by Tabo on
Tuesday, 26th September 2006 @ 08:00:42 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Thank you for your comments. I just wanted to let everyone know that this poem is not about suicide, though the message does remain sad... |
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