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Resserection
Contributed by
keilantra
on
Sunday, 24th September 2006 @ 05:40:14 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
_____________________________
And you sat and waited
for the eureka moment, but it never came.
And God, you felt betrayed and nottomention stupid because she was your first real friend and
you'd expected him to at least call.
She'd placed that rope around her neck like a fashion statement, but hadn't stopped there;
and you hated her for jumping
but hated yourself more for not being able to read the signs-
because you were too busy having the time of your life with some guy
that didn't have the courtesy to take you home,
and it felt like everything was
over, but there was no sense of .closure.
And you preferred looking at your shadow because the mirror was so damn truthful
and it wouldn't let you pretend that 'this girl is beautiful; this girl is strong'
because her eyes looked like oblivion and her cheeks resembled craters,
her whole essence seemed hollowed out.
So instead you took walks in October, enjoying the fragile sunlight
that danced on your hands and made them seem alive. Even though
they remained cold, it felt good to be touched by something familiar.
You felt the life come back into you when you remembered how to smile.
Copyright ©
keilantra
... [
2006-09-24 17:40:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Resserection
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lionel on
Sunday, 24th September 2006 @ 05:57:43 PM AEST
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| Sad poem, but I like the ending. |
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Re: Resserection
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 24th September 2006 @ 06:07:17 PM AEST
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Omigod, kie! You have the most amazing and powerful
thoughts, hun! Good grief this is incredible!!
Overcoming tragedy is quite the feat ..
I am moved by the depth here. You truly are gifted in the
way of emotive thought and expression. This pierced me.
boundless talent
~Breezy |
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Re: Resserection
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Sunday, 24th September 2006 @ 06:20:20 PM AEST
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Breezy pretty much said it all.
You remind me of someone I used to know. You have a very similar writing style, I love it.
The second stanza is my favourite. It's so powerful. Wow. I love the bit with the mirror. So many writers these days write about their reflection and hiding behind mirrors, but you have done this well. It's very original.
Great write,
*hugs*
Phil xxx |
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Re: Resserection
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 24th September 2006 @ 09:58:06 PM AEST
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This was quite a write, kei! The boldness of statement, signs, and strong were haunting me throughout the piece and the last four lines of recovery were not abandonment of the tragedy, but more a realization that life must go on. Tip o' m' hat in compliment to ya, girl.
wabl
KenMoore
cowboy |
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Re: Resserection
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Monday, 25th September 2006 @ 08:32:18 PM AEST
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Way to go Kei, you rock my dear friend. I have missed reading your work so much. I'm glad to be back and reading your remarkable poetry. You are an awesome writer Kei~
A truly talented and gifted poetess. Keep up the awesome work.
hugs n prayers,
Sue M |
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Re: Resserection
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Sunday, 1st October 2006 @ 07:34:20 PM AEST
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I found much promise in the authors note-
lest the degradation of the opening stanza-
and as always.. I greatly enjoyed the composition:
that faint, mid-line to mid-line rhyme scheme~
Great post Kei..
B |
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