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Odilia of the Common
Contributed by
spike
on
Saturday, 23rd September 2006 @ 04:13:37 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
As gentle as a zephyr
She found me in the park,
A body bathed in sunlight
But eyes drowned in the dark
She wondered why I looked so sad,
I grumbled, ‘I am blind!’
Then she asked if she could sit awhile,
And I said I didn’t mind.
I told her that I lost my sight
Defending a hopeless cause,
She guessed it was the country
Where they’re fighting endless wars.
She then told me of the world
Around that didn’t need my eyes,
The corrugated bark of trees, and
The sound of open skies
The babbling of the waters
That resonate deep within,
And spoke to me of Summer
Till I felt it on my skin.
She wove a rug of flowers, with
Words and gentle glee,
And the colours and the perfume
Came rushing into me
I recalled long forgotten tastes,
And vivid memories
All of it was clear as day
- As if I still could see
She whispered to me secrets,
That made my spirits sigh
Then kissed me lightly on the cheek,
And quietly, bade goodbye.
I never thought to ask her name
-Though her voice was honeyed grace,
Or draw my fingers lightly
Around the contours of her face
I wonder what she looked like,
This angel of the park
Who opened up the senses
Of a soldier in the dark.
* Odilia is one of the patron saints of blind people. A common is an open public park area.
Copyright ©
spike
... [
2006-09-23 04:13:37]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Odilia of the Common
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 23rd September 2006 @ 05:25:56 AM AEST
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You have written an absolutely awesome poem here. Love it!
Thank you.
Tim
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Re: Odilia of the Common
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Saturday, 23rd September 2006 @ 09:46:02 AM AEST
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Oh, I completely concur with Timbo. This is wonderful!
You have, dear Spike, opened our eyes as well. The imagery here is so perfectly clear one cannot help but "see" this moment. I have it, right now, so wonderfully in my mind that the nuances are sweeping me away... the way she leans in as she speaks softly to him and the lovely lilt of her voice... the lighting of his face as she does... the look of wonder in blind eyes (my, that's something!), the warmth of the sun, the sounds of the moment, the brush of air on his skin as she moves to go....... the thoughts and feelings reverberating though him for her having been there. Wonderful, all of it!
I might suggest that the only thing that seems 'wrong' here is the inclusion of "hopeless"........... for there is clear evidence here that hopelessness is not a factor. The battle has been long perhaps, but hopeless it is not... whatever the cause, I've a feeling it was one of value and his experiencing of it has served him well. Mayhaps he has now seen his battle scars but not yet discovered their beauty for not yet fully acclimating to his new and different kind of vision. Like the stars, I imagine their beauty will be revealed to him in time and I do so hope he'll be inclined to see "hopeless" as a past tense but understandable description. To your point, Spikito... vision comes in its own time and I believe fully that it is best and right that she approaches when we are most ready to receive her. What a fabulous thought to consider that she might return again and again in time!
Glorious piece! Please forgive my ramble here and know that rambling is, of course, a friend to inspiration and joy. This... touched me and I could not help but prattle on about the way in which it did.
Always enjoying a trip to your page,
~Snem
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Re: Odilia of the Common
(User Rating: 1 )
by jerseysue on
Saturday, 23rd September 2006 @ 12:52:12 PM AEST
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| This poem reminds me so much of the Good Samaritan. A truly beautiful masterpiece, and yes so visionary . It was a pure joy to read it. Sue x |
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Re: Odilia of the Common
(User Rating: 1 )
by drtylilsecret on
Saturday, 23rd September 2006 @ 08:55:13 PM AEST
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oh that's absolutely fantastic. never read anything like that before.
--talli
ps: thanks for the comment, appreciate it. |
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Re: Odilia of the Common
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Saturday, 23rd September 2006 @ 11:42:53 PM AEST
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Wow
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Re: Odilia of the Common
(User Rating: 1 )
by Elisabeth on
Sunday, 24th September 2006 @ 12:31:02 AM AEST
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| This was absolutely beautiful! It's rare for me to find a piece that REALLY touches me, and I have to say that this one in particular did. Your words are so simple and yet powerful. I felt like I was in the park, like I was the soldier. Wonderful. Thank you very much for sharing this!!!!!! |
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Re: Odilia of the Common
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 24th September 2006 @ 08:02:01 AM AEST
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Wonderful poem.Moving and a pure joy to read.Think I've been reading the wrong poetry of late, but I know where to find the real thing.
Reminded me of the boy,who has been blind from birth and his father is describing nature and her colours.The boy asks,"What colour is the wind?"
Den |
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Re: Odilia of the Common
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Monday, 25th September 2006 @ 08:47:48 PM AEST
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My dearest Spike I always know where to go to read an excellent and remarkably written poem. This touched my heart deep. I closed my eyes and tried to feel what it was like for this soldier. I have not enough words to give your extraordinary write the credit that it deserves. 5 shining stars for you my dear friend~
love, hugs n prayers,
Sue M |
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